I'm Your Wild Love, You're My Lifeline
by SCOTLAN
Summary: Perhaps he had momentarily caught Derek off guard, maybe the wolf was going to chase after him. "..Or maybe he really just doesn't care." He muttered to himself as his tired 'run' which was more of a pitifully sad jog, fell into an even more exhausted walk. In all of forty-five seconds or less, the boy barely made it past the treeline. STEREK Imprint/Mate bonding. Between S2 & S3
1. One

"_your whispered thoughts tend to keep me awake  
your beating pulse is steady just to keep me sane  
and like a wolf, my eyes keep flashing red  
you're unalarmed, consumed by the gears in your head"_

* * *

The evening held promise of storm. The air heavy with the musky scent. Scott had complained about the smell more than a few times in the past fifteen minutes. Though his ADD did cause him to space out at random times, he had been distinctly focused on the darkening sky outside for a long time; vacantly aware of Scott's presence.

Stiles was trying not to shut Scott out of his life, after all that has happened. His father was now involved and Scott knew that made Stiles views change on the situations at hand. He already lost his Mother, and he refused to see his Dad go through that again. Losing Stiles would mean no one there to take care of him, make sure he ate right on occasion, make sure he wasn't passed out in a pile of paperwork after a few drinks, or just be there to let him know he wasn't alone. That is how Stiles felt though, alone...and scared. Scared of decisions, scared of not doing something, _of_ doing something, and of how his heart was struggling with his brain.

Days like this though, where he tried to at least pretend to care what Scott was chatting away about, Stiles found himself staring out at the darkening sky, slowly drifting down to the tops of the trees. Distantly, he wondered if the two lone betas were out there too, looking up at the sky thinking of home.  
He cared. He may not have showed it often, hidden under his uncertainty and his sarcasm, but he worried about Boyd and Erica. He worried about Scott and how he was struggling with the upcoming days of school and his mom. He worried for his father and he worried for Lydia. Most of all though, he worried for Derek.

The past few months of their short summer, Derek had seemingly and not unnoticeable by himself, eased up on Stiles. It was slow at first, but Stiles gradually began finding small changes in the older wolf. He seems more distant. Stiles changed too though, and it seemed to him only Lydia noticed. For she sat down beside him during of the training sessions,-Derek helping Jackson with technique combat or something that Stiles would have known if he was paying more attention- and put a hand on his knee.

_"You know, you should talk to him."_She had said, voice low though Stiles didn't know if it made a difference with super werewolf hearing.

He didn't have to ask who she refereed to, but he didn't have to answer either. So he opted for silence. After a few moment of him saying nothing she retracted her hand and turned back towards the guys. For a moment Stiles thought she would drop it, as she stood up to walk back to where Issac sat, but instead she uttered those words that had lingered in his head for weeks. _"Even he needs someone to talk too."_

Did he? Did Derek even talk? Stiles found it hard to imagine the sour wolf sitting down like a patient in a therapy office ready to pour out and analyze his list of problems. Though Derek had been on his mind a lot more than usual lately, Stiles couldn't help but stare off into the trees, wondering if Derek was inwardly screaming, was just as worried and scared as he was inside, hiding it behind a mask.

Stiles turned his head back to Scott, having no idea what the young wolf was talking about, and sighed.

"I'm sorry Scott, but I really want to be alone right now." He moved around him and grabbed his coat, heading for the door and out of the house, not caring to show Scott out, the boy new his own way.

With a deep inhale of stale, musky evening air, Stiles slipped into his jacket and made his way through the treeline towards the Hale house. It was probably one of the stupidest things to do at this time, walking through the now darkened woods, alone, with a pack of crazy Alphas hiding out somewhere. But he didn't care. His feet took him for a long way until the once beautiful, now half burned up, Hale house, and stopped. He couldn't tell if Derek was there or not, maybe he smelled him coming, maybe he was off grumbling in his Derek ways somewhere, or maybe he was sleeping...did the wolf even sleep? Either way, there Stiles stood, gazing up at the darkness of the house, wondering what he should do next.

The chill in the air was there, but Stiles already felt so numb. He knew there was a reason for him being here but as he just stared up at the broken ruins of the Hale house, knowing only the history of what happened from Peter, and Scott. Did Derek ever talk about it? _Did he...? _Interesting how one forgets simple detail. _What am I doing here...? _He asked himself. What possible outcome was he looking to achieve? With Derek, any outcome was as if someone pulled it from a hat. Anything could happen.

Nearly every time, Stiles has misjudged a situation with Derek. The older man surprised him. Stiles closed his eyes. Remembering how he had felt at the student counselors that one day in school last semester. The weight of the world had fallen in one foul, deathly swoop onto his shoulders. Crushing him. He knew there was dangers, he knew he was risking his life each time. But...it changed. That night at the police station with his Dad and Scott's mom, and then with Gerard...

Unconsciously, his hand lifted to his face, tracing the outline of the now healed wounds, so freshly visible and painful in his memory. He was scared...he _is_ scared. He was slowly shutting down. Shutting them out, just a walking shell in place of the once lively kid with ADD. Inside though, he was screaming. When he shuts his eyes at night, he can see them,... the bodies. He imagines standing over the bloody remains of his father, Scott and his mom, Lydia and Jackson, Boyd and Erica, Issac, but what he couldn't understand was the overwhelming sense of dread and desperation when he came to the realization the Alpha wasn't among the littered bodies. When he would look for him he always ended back up in that house...the darkness consuming him completely.

When he woke up he was always just as disorientated as the last time. However now, as he opened his eyes to look at the all to familiar scene in front of him, dark scary house and all. Stiles felt it, the desperation to find Derek.

Letting out a steamy breath into the chilled musky night air, Stiles took another step further, willing his body to stop and turn around, to just head home where he should have been. It didn't help though, for now he was standing on the rickety porch, reaching forward to find the door only to realize it was open. Though he was normally more cautious about entering a big scary house, he just stepped right in, more worried of finding Derek laying in a pool of blood or worse, finding he had taken off leaving them behind...'_why do you care? '_If Derek leaves, maybe the problems will follow him.

_Like that would make a difference. _He told himself.

The air was stale and smelled strange as usual. He couldn't ever pinpoint what exactly it smelled like, couldn't find the right word to explain it, but it was unnerving. Stiles could see nothing even a foot in front of him. There wasn't even moonlight, the small sliver in the sky was covered by the storm clouds which were rolling on in as if they owned the place.

Squinting in the blackened atmosphere Stiles removed his hands from his pockets. "Derek?"

The Alpha could sense indecision, the apprehension, coming from the foolish boy. How stupid... to come here at this hour alone, unguarded, with all the dangers that cursed this town. Derek felt the anger swell within him. Anger for Stiles being so careless while he was so frail. The boy was getting older, but his self preservation seemed to be diminishing by the day. What if the Alpha pack, whom they still have yet to have the pleasure of meeting face to face, decided to take Stiles? To bite, or kill him? What if they bit him, and it didn't take. Derek felt emotion swell deeper inside of him, causing him to growl deep in his throat.

If he had any plan to melt into the shadows deeper, and let Stiles believe the house was empty, it has now completely frolicked out the door with the sound. Huffing, clearly irritated and grouchier than he had been moments before, Derek stepped from the shadows. Eyes red and pointedly unamused. "Why are you here?"

Stiles heard the growl after a moment or two of silence. At first, he thought perhaps this was a mistake, that Derek wasn't here, but then he heard the growling sour wolf, and saw him emerge from the shadows. _Trying to be a bad ass and scare you again no doubt...jerk_.

'Why are you here?' Wow, wasn't _that_ the question of the day. '_Why am I here? Because you won't leave my thoughts, you haunt my dreams...my nightmares, you made me care...I didn't want to care. I just wanted to keep Scott alive, and keep my Dad safe...and pine after the smart and beautiful Lydia Martin. But no, you had to invade my life like a virus! Using me up like cheap dish soap from the mini mart!_

Stiles let out a huff, a strange sound, startling him from his own argument in his thoughts. This brought him back to reality and then back to Derek's Question. The answer was there, he could just be honest, he SHOULD just be honest. Tell Derek everything, ask for advice...something. Anything but the words that were now leaving his lips.

"I don't know." Those three words rang true and false. However his heart stuttered a bit as he said them. For at the same time he spoke, he thought '_You know why.'_ He didn't want to blame Derek, the Alpha had been through so much this past year like the rest of them. Stiles could see how much doubt Derek still had in himself, in the pack, in finding Erica and Boyd...alive. Stiles knew only because he felt it. He felt the worry and sometimes when Derek and Scott talked (_more Scott than Derek_) about it, something in the Alphas eyes wavered. Maybe he was seeing things, maybe Stiles imagined all of it. _Hell_, he thought, _the nightmares felt real enough._

Why was he here? "_Even he needs someone to talk too."_ Lydia's voice echoed in his head from weeks before.

Stiles let out another breath and his expression went blank yet again. Jaw lightly clenching and un-clenching as he lightly bounced on his heels ever so slightly. How did one start a heart to heart conversation with a sour wolf anyway?_ 'So, kill any furry critters lately?'_

The hyperactive boy sighed, feeling mildly defeated. There was never a way to ease into talking with Derek, so he said what was there, in his mind, right then.

"What if we never find them, Derek. What if...what if we're too late.?" His voice cracked.

At the boy's words, Derek's brow perked, an ever repetitive expression of his when dealing with the human. His confusion seemed to be a running theme (both on his part and that of the boy), which made it a wonder they understood each other at all some times. Stiles seemed to always know what hide just behind his cold eyes, which he hated. Because the more Stiles warmed the cold ice covering his heart, the more he found himself yearning to feel that bit of warmth the boy brought to his fractured pack, his fractured life...and the more he found himself worrying for the humans here had to be some reason why he would be so thoughtless, so careless to walk the woods alone. Derek glared at him, urging for something more. Anything, at this point, would be better than 'I don't know'.

He stood silently though, stiffening as the boy touched upon the missing Betas.

Though he'd tried to do his best by them, his best hadn't been enough, and when he tried for more, it was little much too late. They chose to leave, chose to look for another pack, a better one, with a better Alpha. They didn't trust him. With the Alpha pack arriving, the Jackson incident, Scott's betrayal, and much more, Derek was already defeated and he knew it, only hearing Stiles say so in his simple implication, threw him over the edge.

"Then they're dead and they chose their fate," he grumbled bitterly. Turning from the boy, aware such a question could have been asked some other time by some other means, his irritation rose and swayed his anger more. There was no need to put himself in such careless and unnecessary danger, not when he couldn't defend himself. Not when he had so many people who cared about him. People who couldn't live with out him. "Why are you really here, Stiles? Don't you think it's a little selfish to be walking in the woods alone at night? Or don't you care?"

Stiles must have looked a little shocked to say the least. Selfish? SELFISH?! He came here to talk to him, to let Derek know he wasn't alone, that Stiles needed him. Believe in him... Stiles face went through a million different emotions at once, his mouth opening to say something; but he didn't, instead his eyes left Derek's hard stare and his expression fell back into nothing. The spark in his eyes fading back to nothing. Perhaps coming here _was_ a bad idea after all.

Selfish...Stiles was nearly anything but selfish. He risked his life to help Derek and his little pack, risked his life by continuing to be there for Scott even after his girlfriends family tried killing them, even after Erica nearly put him through his own jeep and a door, he _still_ held her during the attack in the library when Jackson nearly killed them all... He was always there, trying to fight for the ones he loved, and the ones he didn't.

_Or don't you care?_

Stiles clenched his jaw at Derek's words. A mild scoff at the question. "Too much apparently." His eyes snapped back up to the Alpha. "I'm scared, okay? More so now that my Dad knows about us, and Scott's mom, it was bad enough before, when they were a _little_ worried about why we were out late or didn't call. But NOW, well hell Derek, now whenever we are out I can't miss the look in my Dad's eyes when I leave the house, for School or just out in general. He's scared, he worries more than ever, not to mention I'm sure Scott's mom jumps every time she hears someone is coming through emergency, wondering if its her son, or me, or some poor soul who got in the way! You know what scares me most? Watching you trying to teach what is left of this broken family we have, trying to put on the brave face when I can see you're just as scared as me." He throw his hands up into his hair trying to calm his now erratic heartbeat, knowing he was letting out everything that's been built up. The anxiety attack coming on though was going to be hard to stop. For he was shaking.

He had to turn and lean his head against the cracked wall, feeling the cold surface against his skin felt good. He let out a shaky breath now as he thought on the nightmares that were plaguing him, and the emptiness he felt when he could not find the Alpha.

"I'm scared I'm going to go to sleep one of these nights, and wake up to find you gone..." Though he said you as in the pack, he could not deny his heart stuttered at the word, his heart knowing he meant Derek. _I don't know what to do anymore_ "I feel as if I'm missing a part of me. Like it was lost somewhere...I feel incomplete..." He barely whispered the last part aloud before falling silent.

Incomplete, it was a feeling Derek knew too well; ever since he'd lost his family that was all he'd tried to amend. Foolishly starting his own pack of otherwise unwanted teenagers. As if hoping he could show them something more. To feel wanted. To have family. But if he couldn't trust anyone, how could he expect them to trust him? To respect him?...he'd done everything all wrong. Sometimes he believed he'd done even worse than Peter.

Derek ended up leaning against the door frame of the living room, looking at the floor at the boy's feet, voice a little softer now. "We all feel that way, Stiles." His eyes trailed up slowly, chancing a glance at the human, his own eyes sullen and wounded, vulnerable. "It's what life does to you."

Tearing his eyes away, the wolf looked out the broken window to the darkened grounds of the house and the dark, haunting wood beyond. "You just can't go out like this anymore," his tone was distant, distracted by his thoughts. He worried about the boy, that much he knew he could not deny, but to admit it out loud or in so many words wasn't his style. "It's not safe. You have nothing to protect you.."

Stiles turned his head away from the wall to lean against it when Derek finally spoke. His words laced with something Stiles could not grasp in that moment, for the Alphas eyes had locked with his own and the boy lost himself in them. Noting the emotion whirling in those dark eyes. Stiles brows drew together as he frowned slightly. Even when Derek withdrew his gaze Stiles felt imprint there. As if he was looking at him, without having to. Stiles took in a needed gulp of air when Derek's gaze had dropped , his own eyes dropping to look at the not so interesting floor, which he could barely see as it was. _Remember to breathe, right...humans need air..._ He prattled on to himself inwardly until Derek's voice broke through again. Derek's words rang in his ears when he finally let himself come back down to earth.

_"You can't go out like this anymore,"_Stiles resisted the urge to roll his eyes. About to open his mouth to tell this man he would go where he pleased, but it appeared Derek wasn't done.  
_  
"It's not safe. You have nothing to protect you."_

Nothing to protect him from the big bad wolves who could gobble him up at any time. Derek didn't need to say it out loud, Stiles knew the words were there in the fine print of his words. Though Derek may not have had much faith in Scott's ability to keep his friend out of trouble, Stiles felt a tad irritated Derek thought the boy was incapable of _some_ thought on his own safety. The knife his father had slid him across the table a few nights after the incident at the Police Department, tucked safely in his pocket."_Just in case..."_ His father had said. His tone showed there was no room for argument.

When he had seen the hunters pocket knife laying on the wood surface of the dining room table, surrounded by paperwork and empty glasses, Stiles had laughed. His immediate verbal reaction being "_Please Dad, a knife? Really? Derek, could scare Godzilla away, I hardly think a hunting knife is going to be as effective as Derek..."_But his words faded away as he realized his dad was giving him a hard look. This was non negotiable it read. So Stiles took it and tucked it away, taking it where he went, sleeping with it under his pillow, keeping it with him in the shower.

It gave him a small sense of security, but he couldn't shake how easily he thought about Derek being there, than Scott...or even Issac, as his protector. '_I can take care of myself.'_ He had grumbled.

But now as he listened to Derek speak he knew why he walked through the woods alone, why he walked outside without frantically looking every which direction to see what may try and eat him.

"I have you." Stiles said subconsciously, unaware of Derek's eyes looking at him with something kin to emotion.

Derek.

It was always Derek.

He cared for the wolf. He worried for him. He hurt when Derek hurt, he was angry when Derek was angry, why? He didn't understand it. Stiles walked about _selfishly_ as Derek put it, because he 'knew' Derek was always near by. He knew if something snatched him up, Derek and Scott would fight to save him or at least find him. Maybe Stiles had too much faith in the Alpha, as Scott had mentioned a few times the past month. Scott still trusted Derek as far as he could throw him, Issac seemed to trust Derek but still had his doubts, even so, the boy was loyal to them all.

Stiles eyes tore themselves from the floor, to look back at his Alpha..._my Alpha_? ...would he choose Derek over Scott, if he ever chose to accept the bite? Would he, accept the bite? Stiles had tried not to think about it, refusing to let the subject escalate pass Derek mentioning it. Or Issac. Plus the mere fact that he could die if the bite didn't take.

But would he? Choose Derek?

Stiles looked upon the face of the Alpha and let his lips part as he let out a breath, his heart skipping beats. He knew the answer with no doubt in his heart. He'd accept Derek fully into his life, he already pretty much had. However now, as he looked so intently at the man before him he had a weird overwhelming tingle shudder through his whole being. It was as if his heart and his soul was pulling, and ripping from him, trying to seep through his skin to reach out to the man in front of him.

What was happening...did it feel like he couldn't breathe, why did his heart feel as if it would explode in his chest. Stiles eyes widened as felt his chest tighten up. This had happened to him a lot when he was a child, his mother would scold him for not taking his meds, and hold him, rocking him back and forth to calm him down. Anxiety attacks. They were pretty crazy...but this...felt almost...as if his being was trying to become one with the Alpha in front of him.

And it...hurt... "Derek..." He breathed out before everything began moving in slow motion, his hand reaching out in Derek's direction, as his knees gave out and he made his descent for the floor. Then everything began to go dark.

**A/N: I heard this song by Maeve Kelly called Lifeline. & It reminded me of this joint writing bit I did with my best friend. It's actually how we met and I wanted to share it. There a lot more to this, but I felt like I'd give yo ua little, and see how you feel about it. CILLI wrote Derek and I wrote Stiles, mpost of it is edited on the derek bits because I was trying to rewrite and keep little bits original. But ended up keeping most of the Derek she wrote in because I can;t top it. So let me know what you think, and PLEASE look her up. CILLI and sourwolflovestory on tumblr!**

**I'm also up for any jointfic writing with others if you can RP and can follow along like this, meaning know how to write and are goo with your own ideas and such to where you can match brains with me haha. And visa versa.**

**This is now chaptered out**


	2. Two

**TWO**

"_i've come to terms with the hand that i've been dealt  
smoke and ash are mere pains that demand to be felt  
and you say we're all prisoners to our pasts  
when you're with me, i forget to look back "_

* * *

Derek heard the boy's heart race, heard the beats become erratic, his breath short and- Rushing, without hesitation, the wolf ran to the boy's side, lowering himself to the ground as Stiles sank before him. It hadn't even taken him choking out his name, he'd reacted before the boy could reach out, knew what distress he was in, and could not find it in him to brush him off, not that he'd tried.

Catching him, his hands clinging to Stiles' arms, he held him there, propped him against the wall, and though he wavered, he wouldn't allow him to fall. "Stiles! Stiles look at me! It's okay, you don't have to go back out there. You're safe. Just breathe, in and out."

Growling, frustrated and concerned (never a good combination for him), the Alpha looked around aimlessly. There was no one there but them, nothing around for him to use, no aid he could give him just his own voice. "Look at me, come on, open your eyes. Breathe," he urged as he continued coaching him, listening closely to his heart as it continued to race. Lowering himself closer, knowing with everything in him that he could not lose him, he cupped his hand to the nape of his neck, and tried laying him on his side.

Focusing on the boy's heart, Derek closed his eyes, keeping his hand placed firmly on his back, and tried to coax a calm breath out of him. Breathing slow, breathing for the panicked human, he kept his face an inch from the boy's, and breathed slow and deep, as if trying to guide him with his own breaths.

It felt as if his chest was caving in on itself. Like a D&D character getting hit by a level 100 owl bear HARD or an Orc fist, while wearing plate armor that needed repairs, crushing his chest. Stiles parted his lips again, trying to suck in more air, but his throat closed itself off. His eyes squeezed shut as his back arched, pushing his body towards Derek's.

"_its okay you're safe here, I got you baby, Just Breathe Sweetie."_ _His mom said in her velvet voice to a five year old Stiles, who was writhing painfully. It was nearly as bad as a seizure, except Stiles could hear everything, he was aware it was happening._

In the dark entry way of the broken Hale house, the boy's hands reached out blindly, and grasped onto the mans shoulders as he came closer. Derek was mere inches from his face, his breathe was touching Stiles skin in little wisps and he smelled very...Derek.

Thump...thump thump, thump thump...thump...

"Fight" Derek's voice breathed out onto his skin once more. _"But it hurts..."_ he wanted to say. He choked on the oxygen that began to flow into his lungs as he focused on Derek's breathing...

"Derek..." He breathed out in a panic. "It feels like I'm being ripped from the inside out." He choked on a sob, pain wracking his body again, but not as bad as before. His hands roaming, sliding over those tones shoulders, up his neck to his face before his shaking hands ghosted over Derek's cheeks and then his lips before jolting forward and wrapping around his shoulders, clinging to the Alpha. Practically pulling them together. As soon as his chest touched Derek he inhaled sharply, the explosion inside him bursting. He wrapped himself around the Wolf tightly, afraid if he let go the pain would return. Especially not when his heart rate was dropping so rapidly, allowing him to breathe.

"Don't let go..." Stiles whispered, exhaustion taking over. "Please... Just...a little bit longer." He breathed out. As he felt his eyes close, he pressed his face into the crook of Derek's neck, inhaling the mans woodsy spice scent.

"Stiles-" He broke off as the boys fingers touched to his body, touching his face, his cheeks..his lips. Derek felt the room spin, and he closed his eyes against it, trying to fight it. The arms around him trembled slightly still, although the heart slowed its frantic drum beat from moments before. Derek had to let himself breathe as well, his own arms wrapping about the boy, lifting him in his arms to hold him tighter."I won't." This was a pull, an awakening. Something a wolf felt when they found a mate. Derek had not sensed it strongly before, but then again, Derek's human side always seemed to fight his wolf nature since life began to run sour years ago. Two entities in one body.

However the bond had been awakened. Derek and the wolf had to have been one for that moment when Stiles looked up at him with such intensity. Somehow, unknowingly, the bond was acknowledged. Unless it wasn't, and he was reading to into this situation..the panic attack, the emotions, the words. The link. Whatever it was, the Alpha hadn't initiated it, this was the boy's doing, but that didn't take away from his part in it. Stiles clung a little harder to him as he groaned slightly.

Had there been nothing there, nothing at all, this couldn't be happening, yet there he was, holding the boy who felt like he was dying. "It's alright," he breathed, but the worry and doubt in his words shone through. Tears hung in his soul, an ever growing pain tugging at it, not relenting, only growing stronger.

The wolf bowed in over the boy, holding him as close as he could, his hand keeping his face buried in his neck. His breath, so shallow and sporadic, heated his skin, and he knew what he needed to do to save him. It was so simple, so easy to just give him this, to save him all this pain. But still, he found himself resisting the wolf inside of him. Obviously Stiles had to feel something for Derek, or the bond would not have been acknowledged, however this was Derek Hale, and happiness seemed to be unable to latch onto him for long. Instead all Derek could do was rub the boys back, offering quiet words of comfort as if afraid he would collapse to dust in his arms.

Stiles felt himself relaxing, focusing on Derek's whispered words of comfort. The Wolf was holding him just as close as Stiles was clinging to him; and there they sat, awkwardly angled and shaking. Stiles didn't understand fully what was going on, could not pull the information in his brain hat lingered there. He had read about this somewhere...but ..what?

Stiles couldn't finish his reminiscing thoughts, as Derek began pulling the boy away from his chest. Panic began rising within again. He wanted to cry out. But then Derek 's eyes made a mistake and locked with his own and all Stiles could do was focus on those eyes as they drove into his soul. Neither one of them realized they were shifting closer to each other until suddenly they were nose to nose, and Stiles felt his lips touch Dereks. It was all the boy could do not to cry out against them.

Everything stopped. His heart beat and breathing that had been erratic moments before was now frighteningly still. Unmoving for what could have been moments, to minutes, he didn't know. Derek's lips were surprisingly soft but firm against his own. Could it be? Could this be happening? And the pain...it was replaced by the uncanny ache to plaster himself against the wolf and never let go. So that is what he did.

Stiles heartbeat began forming its own rhythmic beat, and as he pressed himself as flush against Derek as he could, pushing their chests together and their lips. Stiles could have sworn, their hearts were beating one and the same rhythm. Derek felt his control slipping, his claws elongating, his canines protruding past his lips, catching Stiles briefly, but it was enough for the boy to flinch at the contact. Stiles pulled back slightly to look at Derek only to see the sudden blur as Derek was suddenly out from under Stiles and now against the far wall, back facing him. The boy was suddenly cold, now that the warmth of Derek's body had dissipated.

Stiles had so many thoughts trying to process in his brain that eventually he felt the emotion falter and his expression fell back into nothing. Expressionless, numb. Even though Derek initiated their kiss, Stiles felt rejected.

"Jesus, Derek..." He rubbed at his face, trying to understand what was happening. Understand what he did wrong. "What the hell did I do?" He felt himself growl lightly to himself as he attempted to stand now, wobbling slightly as he did so but managed well enough to stable himself. Without even dusting himself off he took a step towards the man before he stopped moving. Derek had to have felt it too, had to have felt something for him...

Emitting a deterring growl, the Alpha jerked his head from the boy, hiding his face, concealing the wolf he had otherwise been unashamed of before this. It wasn't like the full moon, it wasn't a complete loss of control, but something in him didn't want the boy to see the face he'd seen countless times before. Why? Because he was a monster and Stiles was human, just an ordinary kid. It wasn't his fault he had gotten messed up in all of this, and it wasn't his fault what was happening now.

Still, Derek couldn't face him, couldn't look at him this way. Sinking more against the wall as the boy stood, protesting, urging him to simply look at him, he couldn't do it. "Just go away, Stiles," he begged, almost whimpered as the boy drew near.

Then that question, that nagging itch at the back of his neck. He knew, he had to have known, the boy was smart, resourceful, he'd read up on werewolves and all of their lore, without doubt he had read about this. "Stiles..." he begged again, closing his eyes in the vain hope that if he could not see him, neither could Stiles.

"Just go away, Stiles," he urged again, "Go away before I hurt you." But he'd never hurt him, not ever again, he was incapable of it. He could feel the pain he was causing the boy, but his guilt tore at him, ate a hole through his heart and down into his gut, wrenching it tightly about itself.

Stiles shook his head, before something painful hit him. Remorse and guilt...god why was this happening again! Stiles looked up at the Alpha once more and blinked a few times, had his eyes gotten better in 2.5 seconds or was he hallucinating because he swore he was seeing Derek cry.

Thu dump..dump...His heart skipped at the sight before him. "No, Derek don't...do that. You...you're killing me here man.." He whispered as he moved forward and wrapped his arms around the man. He didn't care if he ripped his throat out, he just wanted the wolf to stop hurting. "Hey...I'm not going anywhere. To be honest." Stiles shook his head slightly. "I don't think I ever can. I can't describe, all of the shit, we just went through in 5 minutes, but I do know it was extremely freaking painful, it was like, as soon as I looked at you, wondering why I was here, why I can face the day the way I do without huddling in the corner...I mean man, the crazy bullshit we've been through...no one could have gotten us through it like you did. No one." He growled the last part, not knowing what was coming over him. "No one could do what you do Derek."

Stiles pulled back and looked at the wolf seriously with his dads no bullshit look. "We will find the betas, and our pack will be together again, in life or death. We are family. You understand that? I know you think I'm so breakable but...this is me Derek. And I can take care of myself, I always have."

Drawing a sharp, deep breath as the boy's arms passed around him, Derek felt the room spin, felt his will falter. He couldn't let it in, it wasn't safe, it wasn't... But Stiles begged, his voice so forlorn, the words all garbled in his mind.

What was happening to them? Why them? Why now? And why couldn't he just let go?

Stiles was still young, still a teenager, still able to live a normal life, escape this life that had been thrust upon him and stolen such precious time already. Derek couldn't take that from him, he couldn't know the danger it would place on the boy. The risk of losing him terrified the Alpha. But when he mentioned the beta's again, it hardened him once more. Family, what did he know? He wasn't a wolf, he was a human that ran with wolves, it didn't make him one. He _was _breakable, he was in more danger than any of them, but the one thing that could make that disappear was the one thing he'd never wanted and the one thing Derek wouldn't do to him.

"You don't know anything!" his voice boomed suddenly. Spinning in place, Derek turned, lashing out, pushing the boy from him, finally letting him see the beast he'd been wrestling with. Eyes glowing red, fangs bare, and face contorted from the human guise he normally held; he stood before the boy, showing him what he thought he was in love with.

Chest heaving as he huffed and glared at the boy, he felt his eyes soften, trailing down Stiles' slender form, to the scent of blood that had entered the air. There, on the boy's arm -which had only just been wrapped so longingly around the wolf's body- were four deep claw marks. They carved their way around the top of his forearm, missing any artery, but it was all Derek needed to see how dangerous this was, how wrong he was for the boy.

No amount of pining could make him human or the boy a werewolf. They weren't meant for each other, there was no room in this world for a pair such as them, not in the world Derek lived in. He was constantly in danger, a monster that fought with others like him and worse, not a person made for love of tenderness. His heart and mind battled each other, screaming inside him, until all he could hear was a shrill cry, as if somewhere inside him he was screaming. Again, he looked at the blood, watched it trickle down Stiles' pale skin, and felt the guilt ball in him, contorting him into knots.

"I didn't... Stiles..."

Stiles didn't flinch however. Though Derek usually wolfing out scared the bagels out of him, the boy stood firm, even when he stumbled backwards a foot, only to have the Alpha's half form begin to set in. Derek did not turn into the hideous fur-bag that Peter had as Alpha, but he did look scarier with the red eyes instead of the blue. It was said among many of the lore he searched up on, that a born wolf beta's eyes were blue, but a bitten wolf was yellow or amber, while of course Alpha's were red. Domineering and threatening, demanding respect as the pack leader.

But now, as Stiles looked upon the red eyes, lighting up the darkness surrounding them, the boy could only gaze upon him with respect and admiration. He had to admit the wolf in Derek was even...sexy. Another shot of arousal hit Stiles and he felt his cheeks light up and he gulped, hoping Derek didn't...notice...

The Boy felt the sting in his arm and as the eyes of the alpha seemed to shift, the gaze going from piercing to guilty, drifting down to his arm. Stiles eyes too, drifted down only now noticing the nice claw marks tattooing blood to his skin. Once again, the boy felt another shot of excitement and...intrigue hit him. _What the hell is wrong with me, he could have taken off my arm and I'm standing here like a lovestruck baboon!_

As the wolf stammered, the guilt laced edge to his voice caused the boys eyes to drift back up to the wolfs. "Either accept this, and fight together... "Stiles voice said, emotion wavering, his walls building themselves back up. "Or watch me die out there, never knowing what could have been."

Stiles waited, but moments passed and the alpha had yet to speak. Stiles felt his heart breaking, shattering, and he felt a small tear trail down his cheek and into the abyss of the darkness. Derek rejected him, after he stood by him all this time, trusted him, and held him, the wolf wouldn't let him in. Stiles saw the mans resolve faltering a few times, but never did it drop. It was as if Derek was standing on the other side of the door, while Stiles banged on it, begging to be let in.

Collecting himself the best he could, the boy passed by the Alpha who was against the wall; clear shot through the door for Stiles with an upset "Goodnight Derek."

Out of the house, towards the trees it was. How far he could get, he didn't know. It was impossible to outrun a werewolf, _trust me, I've tried._

Perhaps he had momentarily caught Derek off guard, maybe the wolf was going to chase after him. "..Or maybe he really just doesn't care about some stupid human who talks too much." He muttered to himself as his tired 'run' which was more of a pitifully sad jog, fell into an even more exhausted walk. in all of forty-five seconds or less, the boy barely made it bast the treeline.

Moving fast, Stiles' sudden retreat shaking him from his daze, Derek stole a glance through the window at the boy as he darted for the trees, and broke from his shackles and let his instinct finally guide him. Sprinting after the boy in a dead run, he barreled down on him, fearing what else stalked through the trees at night, what creatures were ready to pounce upon the defenseless human.

Already he was walking by the time the wolf caught sight of him, damning him in his mind for being so foolish not to just keep going, to run as fast as he could. Then again, he was frail, even for a human, and it all but surprised Derek that he had slowed his pace. This all but meant the Alpha had slowed his, on the contrary, he managed to lengthen his stride to round himself in front of the boy and stop dead, creating an impenetrable wall between him and where he thought he was headed.

Heated, more angry than he'd ever been at the boy, Derek remained driven by instinct, reacting rather than think, and shoved the both hard at his shoulders. "What were you thinking!" he barked, shoving him again, harder this time. "Are you completely retarded, or only half?" Another shove, forcing him back a stumble as he advanced slowly, glaring at him. "You stupid. Selfish. Pig headed. Ignorant little-" With every break he gave the boy as hard a shove as he could, likely bruising his shoulders, even landing a palm on his chest once, but broke himself off finally, merely standing there, huffing.

Taking a moment to breathe, Derek growled, now human, calm, or at least calmer than before. His blood still boiled and heart felt like it was on fire, but not from anger, it was worry, it was sheer terror. Concern had driven him mad, brought him to the point he felt like punching the boy across his head and dragging him to where it was safe, if he wouldn't go willingly.

Instead, he refrained from anymore physical assaults, opting instead to offer what he should have in the first place. "We're going back to my house or I'm walking you back to yours. No questions, no compromise. I'm not leaving you out here alone." Maybe it wasn't an offer, more of a demand, but those were his conditions. If Stiles wanted to talk, he'd do it on Derek's terms or not at all (not that he'd give him an option that didn't include him).

Glaring at the boy, his concern laced in his cold stare, he awaited his response, whatever babble he'd mix into his ramblings of either choice he'd been offered. He'd drag him kicking and screaming, if he had to, but something told him the boy's pride wouldn't want to see himself thrown over another man's shoulder and carried off like a cave-woman.

As Stiles listened, the words stinging more and more as they came out, he felt himself grow even more numb than before. He should have known, like as not, the alpha would have gotten in his way. Here he was feeling even worse than before he came here. Who was he kidding...he came here to let Derek know he was here...if he needed him. Came here to have someone to talk too who understood without having to make him feel too guilty about thinking how he did...with everything that has happened, Stiles was lost.

Now, he wasn't just marred by the wolf, he was bruised and battered. Worst part being, the pain was nothing compared to how he felt inside. He wanted to scream, and as he looked up at the Alpha who had seemingly calmed down a smidgen, glaring at him till the cows come home. But instead, his cold emotionless eyes just gazed up at the werewolf, forcing himself to shut down for the sake of embarrassing himself more. Refusing to be tossed up over someones shoulder or dragged off, his voice cracked slightly from the events of the evening.

"I'm going home, Hale. Whether you walk me or not." He side stepped, walking a few steps then stopping for a moment to wait for the Alpha to fall into place with him. Feeling sore, and a little weak, the human stayed strong enough to push through this until he could collapse in his own bedroom. He already had his phone out, ready to Dial Scott, he stared at the contact Name in his list for a moment, instead though he scrolled up a couple names and texted Lydia.

**/Can you meet me at my house...need you.../** Lydia had easily become his go to rock when his nightmares began, never having to explain or say anything. And Issac, there was just, an understanding there. He hadn't been okay since he was kidnapped that day after his big turnout at the game. Now...he was even less okay than before.

_and too think, I thought to have Lydia shatter my heart, not Derek the fucking Alpha crazy Hale..._

His phone vibrated and he looked down at the screen, opening the text from Lydia. **/Be there in five, hang in there./ **

Wishing this could all be easier, Derek struggled to calm himself, to quell his fear and his anger. It wasn't Stiles he was mad at, but himself; angry that he had done nothing but fail in practically everything, angry for those he knew were in danger because of him. And here he'd taken it out on the boy rather than simply say that he was concerned, that he cared.

Was it really that simple though? As impossible as it was to say the words, he knew in his heart that was all it would take, but he couldn't find a way to say them. Instead, he sighed, following the boy as he continued his way out of the woods.

It hurt him that Stiles wouldn't go back with him, the rejection now coursing through his veins. At least now he would be safe, with a werewolf to protect him, if any enemies were to show themselves. But it wasn't enough, it didn't calm the storm raging inside him, it only managed to make his heart ache more.

Derek watched the glow from Stiles' phone, quickly looking away. Each rustle surrounding them had him on edge, kept him from seeing what the boy texted or whom. Not that it mattered, surely it was one of his few friends. With each button click he silently snarled, hoping the noise or the light wouldn't attract anything or anyone.

Feet from the door of the Stilinski house, Derek finally gathered the courage to stop the boy, taking gentle hold of his arm, and turned him slowly around. Their eyes met for a moment and he remained still, silent, as his thoughts raced and heart felt as if it would too. Parting his lips slightly, he hesitated, wishing articulation was a skill he shared even half as much with Stiles.

"Did I hurt you?" he finally mustered, tucking a finger into the collar of the boy's shirt, moving it aside to look at the bruises he'd left. A deep, remorseful sigh left him as he saw the damage he'd done. "I didn't mean to..."

How could he say it? What words could he use to make it all come out as heartfelt as he meant it? Letting go of the boy, stealing his hand away, he sighed once more, bowing his head in shame. "I was worried, but I shouldn't have let my anger get the better of me... I'm sorry." Lifting his eyes mournfully, he looked through the lashes to Stiles' face, hoping and praying he would understand. "No matter how well you think you can take care of yourself, you're still human... and that scares me. I worry about you like I worry about the rest of the pack, only... you /are/ more delicate. There's things out there that can kill me, Stiles, but they'd kill you more easily, without giving you a fair fight. And... I don't want that to happen.

"You never told me why you came out alone... I know you're worried about your friends, they... they're all I have too. But..." Hesitating once more, his emotions pulling at him, confusing him, tormenting him to the point he found it difficult to breathe, he did his best to continue, to say one last thing before leaving.

"I-" lights shone beside them, a car pulling up to the house, stealing his attention. Derek struggled to see beyond the headlights, only for them to shut off abruptly and show Lydia sitting behind the wheel. Do he'd called her, he hadn't let her go. It made sense somehow, but that didn't make it any less painful.

Distracted by the pang now reverberating through his heart, Derek turned back to look at Stiles, the confidence in his words faltering as he struggled to force himself to let them out. "I feel like there's something else. Something... that made us imprint... Maybe I just misread things." His eyes drifted up once more, to fall upon the boy's soft lips, wishing it were the right time for a kiss, that something that simple could fix this, whatever had just broken between them, but something told him it wasn't.


	3. Three

**THREE  
**

"_but then you say, 'be still my wild love  
you were better off pretending not to care so much'  
your bloodied fingers hang onto mine  
i'm your wild love, you're my lifeline"_

* * *

The walk back had been quiet. Derek said nothing to him, nor did he touch him again. Stiles sighed softly, inside though, as they reached closer to the house, he was screaming. Why did it have to be like this, why couldn't anything really great just happen to him? _He_ Felt more like the cursed one than the other way around. As he stepped up the drive to his front door, he felt Derek's hand wrap around his arm, gently pulling him so he turned around. Stiles eyes drifted up to Derek's, and he listened. He listened, and his resolve wavered a bit, his eyes flashing with brief emotion. But he didn't speak. Didn't answer until Derek asked him again, or rather _reminded_ him that he hadn't given the answer why he had been there at the Hale house, at dark. Stiles opened his mouth to answer at the same time as Derek was about to say something else, and this looked rather important...the emotional energy flying off the wolf was noticeable to the boy. Eyes portrayed a lot, and so did a tone.

But the human nor the wolf got a word out, except Derek who had managed a vowel, before headlights flooded his vision and he had to life a hand to shield his eyes. Just as quickly, the lights flashed off, the engine stalling, and Derek's expression shifting. Stiles wanted to ignore his friend and press the wolf to finish what he was saying. But Lydia had already opened her car door and was climbing out. "Stiles?!"

Her tone was concerned, he could tell that much as her nice silver bowed flats padded across the cement in a speedy pace. The porch light was not on, the cloud cover providing a dark shield over the house as well as it had at Derek's. As Lydia got closer, the boy saw her hesitate a moment, realizing Derek was there. _Must not have paid attention when she pulled up..._ he thought.

"Derek." She gave him a forced smile. Something was wrong, the boy frowned. His eyes were pretty adjusted to the dark now, though he had been momentarily blinded by the headlights, his vision was clearing up and Lydia looked as though she was about to kill someone. "Sorry, did I interrupt something?"

"No." The boy said, his voice hoarse. "Goodnight." He mumbled before turning and opening the front door, heading straight for his room. As a courtesy for Lydia, he turned the entry and hall light on his way up the stairs.

Lydia glanced at Derek, seemingly looking as if she was debating asking, But of course this was Lydia. "What did you do?"

Derek never took his eyes off Stiles, no matter how much he wanted to glare at Lydia for interrupting too soon. He kept his sights locked, waiting on baited breath for the boy to speak, to give him an answer, to just say the words. Begging him, his eyes imploring Stiles say what he couldn't, he patiently awaited his answer.

But it never came. No, she hadn't interrupted anything. No? How could he, after all his fighting, simply say no? Maybe it was only fair, what he got for being so cold, for pushing and hesitating before. It hadn't been easy though, it still wasn't, or else he'd have the words burning a hole through his tongue, trying to get out. Yet Stiles merely muttered a goodnight and turned tail inside, leaving Derek alone with Lydia.

His eyes finally faltered, falling to the ground as the girl beside him demanded answers. She could get it from Stiles, he wasn't about to talk to her, the one who broke the boy first. Not that it mattered who had blame with what, he'd broken something in the boy tonight, he knew it, he could see it, and nothing could soften the blow his guilt gave him.

Silently he turned from Lydia, never once looking her in the eye, and began walking back toward the woods. He stopped the second he heard the door close, and stood at the edge of the treeline, watching the shadows cast through the boy's window as his and Lydia's figured moved around the lights that shone within. Unsure how long he stood there before moving, Derek eventually crawled to a hidden spot of the roof, listening to the muffled voices of the two, hoping to hear something that would put his heart to rest, give him a reason to stay or go.

Lydia watched the wolf silent as the night, look to the ground, _ashamed?_ she wondered. This was Derek, she thought, always too hard on himself, always blocking people out. As the man walked away without a word, Lydia shook her head, immediately turning and shutting the door when she passed the threshold, heading up the stairs.

Stiles was shakily tugging his sweater off, followed by his shirt. both of which were ruined by Derek's wolf claws. He tossed them carelessly at the foot of the bed on the floor, walking out to the bathroom where he switched the light on. It wasn't that bad...The marks...his eyes slowly trailed up his own skin to his chest and shoulders, and he winced at the sight.

"Stiles?" Lydia's voice swiftly filled his ears from the stairs and she ascended them. She peeked into his room, "Stiles?" She asked again.

"...Lydia..." He choked on a sob as his wall began to fall, his shaking hands trying to apply some peroxide to the wound but he couldn't even manage it. Lydia's frame came into the doorway as sobs wracked his body.

"STILES!" She cried out as she saw the bruises that were newly formed on his fleshy exterior. She wrapped her arms around him and helped him to the bedroom, sitting him on the bed before rushing back to grab the peroxide and some toilet paper and tape since he didn't seem to have gauze and a proper first aid kit laying around in plain view.

By the time Lydia rejoined him in the bedroom, Stiles had managed to get into fetal position on the floor. "Get up Stiles Stilinski and tell me what happened, you tell me RIGHT now."

Stiles managed to untangle himself long enough for Lydia to help him sit up, where she began dressing and nursing his wounded arm, using her scarf to wrap around the toilet paper (makeshift gauze) and tied it off. The boy spilled everything out, about how he couldn't stop thinking about what she said weeks before about Derek needing someone too. About his nightmares returning every night now, and how he saw them all dead, littered bodies on the ground and how he panicked when Derek's body wasn't there, racing into the wolfs house and the overwhelming sense of dread of Derek not being there...not being anywhere, and ow he woke up every morning, feeling as if were real, the panic and the dread still straggling him as he tried shaking himself out of half-sleep state. Stiles told her how tonight he tried listening to Scott talk, but not being able to shake the need to see the Alpha. How he'd had snapped at the boy a few times about complaining about Derek's methods and how he seemed to not be all there in training lately.

"I mean, how can Scott not see that Derek is just as scared as the rest of us. Erica and Boyd, could be dead somewhere...we could have been too late, or maybe we aren't, there's still a chance...Scott knows how much Derek has sacrificed, knows how hard it has to be that our Alpha is struggling. Fuck I mean its not as if we show much appreciation..."

He stopped when Lydia made a strange face and smiled. "What?"

"You said 'our' Alpha...you're human..."

"You don't to be the same race or species to be family Lydia..." He stated matter-o-factually.

She nodded in understanding. "So...hypothetically speaking, if you were a wolf too, then you would name Derek your Alpha, over your best friend?"

"Without a doubt." He didn't hesitate. The thought would have shocked him 24 hours ago. But the epiphany he had tonight when he accepted...the Alpha into his heart...left no doubt. He continued to tell her how he went to Derek's, and everything else that happened after than up until she showed up.

Lydia was quiet for a while after he had stopped speaking. His breathing had returned to normal, almost as if there was no distance between the alpha and him, as if he were here. Stiles could dream. Lydia re adjusted her legs and looked at Stiles intently, as if looking for something, as if the answer had been there and she was trying to evaluate it. Make sure she made no mistakes.

"You love him." It wasn't a question, and the boy knew it. "Stiles Stilinksi...you are really something." She said with admiration, and...respect? His brows knitted together in confusion and she took his hand is both of her small ones.

"Oh Stiles...Jackson and were dangerous together before he turned. Derek is a danger to you only if he doesn't accept that you're both meant to be together. I do my research, what happened tonight is called bonding. Or as Derek mentioned to you, an imprint. however it hasn't finished...you accepted him fully, your epiphany as you call it, caused your soul to try and meld with its mate, to become one, and from how you explained it, he must have felt it too when you touched, or kissed...I'm not sure because I wasn't there, and this _is_ Derek we are talking about...but some lore states, if both souls upon recognition don't meld together, they will rip apart, they will destroy you Stiles...it will _kill_ you. As cliche as this sounds...but ...from how you talk about Derek now from how you did weeks ago...after all this tonight, the pain you are feeling, the ripping of your insides...you're slowly dying of a broken heart." Her eyes were saddened now and Stiles was speechless.

Was that even a thing? Could you actually die from a broken heart? I mean obviously people committed self harm and sometimes literally died because of heartache but this...this was literally uncontrollable. Why was it happening to him now?

He climbed up onto the bed and laid down. She wasn't far from the truth, he felt like he was dying..and his heart clenched when he thought of Derek. Needing him..."I'll stay until you fall asleep okay?"Stiles nodded in response but he was officially too tired for anymore words. The unspoken thank you lingered between them. This was how it worked with him and Lydia, sometimes Issac, they would stay and wait till he fell asleep and leave. Although sometimes, one would stay behind till morning, That was usually Isaac. He would curl around him in hopes to soothe away the nightmares. Sometimes it worked, but most nights... well, thankfully Isaac had healing abilities.

As Lydia lay next to Stiles, softly rubbing his back , Derek sat with his back pressed against the side of the house. Musing over the conversation that just passed between the two. He could feel Stiles' pain, could hear it in his voice, and felt it as if it was his own. Lydia was right, though, if nothing happened to complete the bond, Stiles would be so consumed with pain and grief that he would die. They had to complete it. Worse, Derek would never again find a mate, his own soul left split between the love he would have lost and the empty shell that would be his body. Even though he loved Paige as a young teen, and stupidly mistook his time with Kate for love, nothing came close to the truth between Stiles and himself. They were true mates. They complimented each other, and unlike his family or Kate, or Paige or even Boyd & Erica, he knew he could prevent this, he could keep the boy from dying.

Resolute in saving him, Derek waited for Lydia to leave, watching her carefully as she got into her car and sat there for what felt like forever. He waited for her to pull away before getting to his feet, and climbed over to the window to begin prying it open. Silently, Derek entered into the bedroom, inching towards the bed that smelled of not only Stiles, but Lydia and a underline of Isaac. It had been a while since he'd been here himself. Quite a while actually...

Stiles moved slightly in his sleep, and then he was on his back, his head tilting into Derek's vision, and it felt as if he was being pulled by a rope by the heart as he found himself lowering to sit in the little bit of space on the bed next to Stiles. "I meant what I said," he whispered , fingered hesitantly reaching out to touch the soft skin of Stiles cheek, "you're pretty stupid, no matter how smart you are... Only an idiot would fall in love with me." Still, Derek pressed his lips against Stiles', tasting the lingering salt of his tears mingled with his own.

*_There was darkness, and trees...and Stiles felt blind. Barely able to see through the haze. His feet felt wet, slimy, and the smell of blood was thick in the air. /Please...not again./ Sloshing noises sounded as he bumped something solid on the ground, when he looked, he saw an odd shape at his feet. Leaning down to get a closer look, he realized it was half of a body...the blonde hair tinged with red and matted._

"**Erica...oh god."** _He put his hand over his mouth, trying to keep the bile down that rose in his throat. He climbed over the body only to hit another form, and then another. Until he realized if was his pack...everyone of them...Scott, Erica, Boyd, Issac...Jackson and Lydia were farther up. It was this time that he realized her eyes were open, although lifeless they were staring away from the Hale house, in which he always found himself entering. He followed her dead gaze off to the distance. Then found his feet had taken him there. It was the Cellar. and outside of it was pieces of Peter, and a few others he didn't even recognize. Who ever did this...Peter put up a fight. But where was Derek...He still had yet to see any sign of him.*_

"Derek." Stiles wavering voice sounded as he squirmed a bit on the bed, the boys body temperature rising, a light gleam of moisture forming on the boys brow.

***"Derek!"** _He called out. Probably stupid thing to do, the murderers could still be out there...more of them. Stiles padded down the steps to the iron door. He pounded on it. _**"DEREK!"**

_"I meant what I said."_ _Stiles turned around, as if Derek spoke right behind him, but nothing was there.  
_  
_"you're pretty stupid, no matter how smart you are... Only an idiot would fall in love with me." The __voice whispered like a breeze again. Stiles let out a shaky laugh, eyes closed as he leaned against the door. It felt like a few minutes had passed, but a hand...a gentle caress touched his face and he leaned into it, it was followed by a strong pair of lips and he melded into them, pressing his body forward to feel he was there.*_

_"I'd have been an Idiot not too."_ He whispered into Derek's mouth. The words caused the wolf to breathe out against the boys skin as he pulled away, pressing his face into the juncture of Stiles neck. The boy was still asleep, but somehow he'd heard him. This was a start, Derek thought. As his face touched into Stiles neck, he felt the rise in the boys temperature.

At first, he didn't think anything of it, wolves ran hot normally, however Stiles was usually cooler to the touch than say Isaac and Scott, not...this was different. Derek pulled away from the comfort of Stiles neck to sit back, placing his hands against the boys face. It was wet as his fingers swiped across his forehead. A sheen of sweat transferring to his fingertips. Derek shook Stiles, careful about his own strength. "Stiles, wake up." Nothing. "Stiles."

Stiles groaned against the movement, but did not wake up. Derek slid his hands beneath the human, and lifted him easily into his arms. The Sheriff wasn't home, so he didn't try being quiet as he noisily opened the bedroom door and used his foot to keep the bathroom door open as he moved them inside. Stiles stirred as Derek shifted them, propping open and eye. "Derek..." He let his head loll to his right, noticing he was suspended in Derek's arms.

"Derek...why're you carrying me..." His hand weakly batted blindly at the Alpha's face. "P-t me down." He said lazily, feverish and still half asleep. Derek, complied however, by setting him on the counter small bathroom counter top and then proceeding, once he made sure Stiles didn't topple over, to drawn a bath of luke-warm to cool water. While the water slowly filled up the tub, Derek returned to Stiles, touching his face with a frown. "You're burning up."

No shit, Stiles wanted to say, he felt like he was on fire. It was uncomfortable and Derek's hot were-hands were not helping cool him off. "Take off your clothes." Derek said, his expression not changing. Stiles raised a brow at this and waggled a finger at the older man.

"Now, wait a minute sir...I haven't...I haven't even...you gotta take me on a date first." He sounded slightly drunk, and Derek felt his eyes roll at the remark.

"If you want to get in the bath in your clothes, be my guest" Derek said pointedly, and Stiles felt himself blush, if even possibly with the feel of the heat his body was already producing.

_Right..._ Stiles slid to the floor, holding onto Derek momentarily for support before he reached down to fumble with his button. The Alpha moved away from him to turn the water off, however Stiles still couldn't manage to get the button of his jeans undone. "C'mon! stupid button ugh."

Hesitating slightly, Derek built the courage inside himself to bat Stiles' hands away, gently, and opened the button of his jeans. "It's okay," he assured him, "I'll help you." Keeping his eyes from the boy's bare chest, Derek stood and took Stiles in his arms, holding him carefully, unwilling to add to the bruises he couldn't bring himself to look at.

Pushing the jeans carefully from Stiles' slender body, he once more averted his eyes, only to take him in as he held him out and lead him to the bath. Mindful to have him sitting steadily, he waited to take himself away, and moved his clothes away from the tub before turning back to tend to him.

Dipping his hands into the water, he cupped his hand and let the water trickle from it onto Stiles' back, not yet touching him. The more he did this, the more he finally looked at what he'd done to him, the more his heart broke. Gradually his hand lowered closer and closer to the boy's body, finally brushing down the small space left between him and the tub. Trying not to look at the marks he'd left on the body. "Hopefully this will help clear your head."

Stiles felt his face heat up even more when Derek proceeded to take over the undoing of his pants, letting them drop to the floor and helping Stiles into the bathtub. The water was cool, soothing the heat of his skin and almost instantly sobering his fever. It was a relief. He sighed contently. Eyes closed as he felt the cool water drip down his back. Shivering when Derek's hands drifted over his skin, touching, soothing.

Stiles reached for the wash cloth he had left there this morning, unused and forgotten, and dipped it into the cool water, before pulling off the makeshift dressing Lydia had done for him earlier. The scarf was tainted red and wet now as stiles dragged it threw the water to hang it over the spigot before removing the toilet paper that was sticking now too his wet fingers, flicking them off towards the mini trashcan. He inhaled, taking the wet cloth and proceeded in trying to clean the four claw marks in his arm. They really weren't bad at all, Derek could have done worse. He let his eyes drift up to the wolfs.

"Not sure my head has _ever_ been clear Derek." He said lightly. A smile formed on his lips. "Derek...I'm sorry for earlier...for pushing you like that. I know how careful you try to be and how I seem to step in the line of fire when I'm supposed to stay out of the way. I...I can't do this anymore." He frowned a little but then it twitched into a small smile again, his wet hand taking Derek's free hand. Looking down at it, brushing his thumb over the tan skin.

"I can't pretend like I don't care about you. I can't live like this Derek...I...Peter offered me the bite once. For a moment I nearly considered it, to be like you and Scott, to not be the weak link. But then I remembered how hard it was for Scott. How hard it still is, and I, can't help but appreciate who I am...as a human. ...I just don;t want to lose who I am. I want to know, when it begins...will I still be me...I saw how it changed Erica...she was hardly the Erica 'd known before, shy quiet, and stuff, but...I don;t want to walk around like a pompous-Like Jackson. I want to still be who I am." He trailed off, fully aware he'd just acted as if they had already just had a conversation about making Stiles a werewolf. Stiles had accepted his fate. But he also knew things were always going to get worse, his humanity would get them all killed.

Derek's eyes drifted off as he ran his hand over Stiles' back, no longer dipping it into the water, merely letting it glide over his skin. He focused on the sensation, of the way Stiles' voice reverberated through his chest and back and into his hand, the words he spoke softly. It was his apology that struck him, that brought him slowly back into the moment, stealing his thoughts from the worry and conflict he battled with in his own mind.

But as Stiles confessed to having no more fight in him, his hand stopped, along with his heart. Listening on baited breath while the boy went on about his doubts about the bite, he felt his heart break and nearly shatter. How to make him see and understand? It wasn't like that, not for everybody.

Taking a calming breath, Derek did his best to struggle for the words. "It didn't change who they were," he insisted almost shakily, "it allowed them to be who they wanted to be... Boyd never changed, he chose it for unselfish reasons. As for Scott... That was my uncle's fault, he took advantage of being Alpha, he used control rather than..." And then it hit him, he'd used guidance, though misguided at times and ill communicated, Derek had always only tried leading his pack, not controlling them. "Trust."

That was what it came down to. Though he'd never shown it, never said it to them, he'd tried, he had, to trust his pack and make them as strong as they could be. It was only ever the mistrust in himself, his own doubt that held him back from truly tapping any of their potential, of leading them the way they needed to be lead.

But that didn't change who Stiles would be, his worry even shone past that, proved he'd remain himself; at least Derek hoped. "If you don't want it to, the bite won't change you," he promised, hoping that would be enough for the boy. "You can learn to control yourself on full moons, I know you could. You're stronger than most wolves I've known... stronger than me. It wouldn't change you, only make you stronger... only keep you safe."

And there it was, the truth, as plainly as he could put it. It hurt to deny the boy his humanity, for it was something he had secretly valued in him, respected even. But the line had been drawn, which neither of them had meant to cross. The time had come that forced the boy to decide, to choose which he would have, either the bite or death, and it killed Derek to know this could be the last chance he might have to speak to the boy, to tell him how he felt.

"Stiles," he nearly choked on the word, feeling a sting in his heart come with it. He hesitated a moment, feeling his hand take hold of the boy's as his thumb gently stroked it, and wished he had the words, always struggling with what to say or how to say it. "I don't want to..."

Stiles mused over Derek's words, though he didn't know how the teens were at school, Derek did understand what it felt like to be broken. He was a broken soul living in a broken house with a broken family and broken pack. Poor Derek never got the long end of the stick did he...This was it though. Why did this have to feel so real. The weight of it pressing down on him, as if he was supposed to know, to give Derek the finger and tell him /no way you crazy bastard am I turning into a raged furbag with the capability to scour the town and take out innocent lives./ Instead, the space cadet here in train of thought, pulled his lower lip between his pearly whites and pressed down on it, chewing in light small half circles.

Would he even make a sexy wolf, what would he look like...what if he had no hair? Would he be a bald crazy man? Did they even /have/ bald werewolves? Was that even possible? He thought incredulously. The sound Derek's voice followed by his cell vibrating half way out of his jeans on the vinyl floor of his bathroom drew him from his momentary lack of ..bald..._I really hope I don't look like a gigantic ROUS, with no hair. _He made a face at that and shook his head slightly, turning his attention back to Derek as he shivered from the cold water.

_I don't want to.._.Stiles raised the mans hand to his lips and closed his eyes once more, inhaling and exhaling in a steady motion, the angle he had to tilt his body not very comfortable but he managed. "I would turn the world upside down for you Derek." He said steadily, as if choosing each word carefully. The wolf was on and off emotionally tonight and the Last thing Stiles wanted to do was say something utterly stupid...again.

"I know I sound like I'm giving up but I'm not, understand I just want you to be happy. No one likes a sour-wolf." So very Stiles of myself, he smirked. "I just don't want to stop being myself because the wolf wants to go off and hump a squirrel or satisfy the craving of hands, okay? Like, the thought alone makes me get the heeby jeebys." He shuddered. "Besides, you're right, Peter build himself around power, he still does, the dick, but you, Derek, with you I have no doubt in my mind I can get through the rest of this hell that is trying to consume us. "

_**/"You don't to be the same race or species to be family Lydia..." **_**/**His conversation echoed in his head._  
__**  
/"So...hypothetically speaking, if you were a wolf too, then you would name Derek your Alpha, over your best friend?"/**__**/"Without a doubt." **_**/**

"I trust you Derek, I _trust_ you."

He pushed himself so he was kneeling, a tad awkwardly, in front of Derek, leaning in to rest his forehead against the Alpha. "Now, If you don't get me out of this tub, and into bed, I'm going to freeze to death." His voice lowered, but there was a lighter tone in his words, a small grin tugging at his lips.

Derek let out a long exhale as he looked eye to eye with Stiles. Could it be this simple? "Alright," he mused softly, slipping his hands over Stiles' chilled and moist body. Taking hold of him, his arms wrapped around carefully, he lifted the boy from the tub, and carried him back to the bedroom. Stiles shivering lightly in his arms.

The moment Stiles was safely laid in the sheets, the covers pulled back, waiting to be draped over him, Derek stood, toed off his boots, shirt and jeans. "You were in there too long," he insisted, as Stiles wide eyes trickled over his body. "We gotta warm you up." Climbing into the boy's bed slowly, almost timidly, he lowered himself down beside Stiles. Their bodies melded together, pressed under the covers, and he held him, letting his body heat soak in. This caused Stiles to inhale sharply, for this was such an intimate action. He focused on the wall in front of him, the sound of his heart beat, the warm breath hitting his neck, and the body wrapped around his own. Derek was so hot, literally. The man felt like a space heater right then.

A small pain in the upper left corner of his chest, maybe an inch or two below the neckline, cause Stiles to wince, body tensing up a bit. He held a breath in for what seemed like forever, willing the pain to stop and eased it out slowly as it began to cease. He once again relaxed into the larger body behind him.

Minutes passed, Derek's breath blowing against Stiles' skin, their bodies pressed against one another, before he finally found the words to let his heart peak. "All I want is you," he whispered, "Not just for the night... I wanted this bond as much as you did, and I'm sorry I pushed you away. I can give you the bite right now and... Only if you're sure. If I bite you then it'll grow stronger, there's... so much more we'll both feel. But I'll only do it if that's what you really want, to be with me, a part of me..."

In his heart, hope lingered, needing the boy as much as he knew he needed him too. But he had to hear the words, he had to know before it happened, had to be completely sure. There was no going back from this, and there would be hell to pay after, he was sure of it. But he'd be right there beside him, no matter what happened. "But we don't have to decide now...I don't know a hundred percent how this all works."

"Plus the lingering chance that I could die instead." Stiles added in, causing Derek's eyes to harden with emotion. Clearly, that was not an option the wolf would accept. Stiles was sure, if he could, the Alpha would tear through hell itself to find Stiles and drag him back to Earth. The imagery and thought made Stiles huff out a laugh, and Derek's features softened again to raise a brow. A tiny hint of a smile touching his own lips at the sound of Stiles laugh. It had been a while since Stiles really laughed, he didn't do it often enough in Derek's opinion.

"What's so funny?"Derek asked, his breath ghosting over Stiles neck causing the boy to shiver for a different reason entirely, involuntarily shifting against the Alpha. The smell of the boys arousal hit Derek's nose, and his eyes flashed red as he growled against the boys skin. "Stiles..." He warned. The boy was in a fragile state. Pretty much all the time really. But especially now. The Alpha didn't feel that losing control right now before they made more permanent decisions...the boy shifted again and Derek had to hold his breathe to keep from inhaling the permeating smell of Stiles arousal. Lifting a hand to Stiles chest, the wolf pressed his palm to the skin, feeling the pulse of the boys heart beneath it, groaning as his own manhood twitched in response to Stiles movement against him. "Stiles..." he breathed, feeling his back arch slightly as he gave a moan, then let his face fall and be buried in the boy's neck, inhaling deeply.

The touch, the grazing of the hand over his skin and the growling sounds emitting from behind him, were enough to make his vision unfocused. The lips and the hands and the _Holy Fuck_ his breathing increased as he felt something hard press into his naked backside. "Derek." He groaned, pressing back against the Alpha, his entire body was surging with energy unbeknownst to him, jolting directly to his groin making him even harder.

"I love you Derek." He said before tensing up again. "Uh I mean, I'd love, for you..too...uh..." Damn him and his poor ability to keep the stupid shit in his head. There was no need to correct himself, his confession was enough to tell Derek all he needed to know. His hand, which had been draped with his arm around the boy, traveled down his stomach, very gradually taking in the way his skin felt against his touch. His lips, so near to the boy's neck, pressed gently against his flesh, as he emitted another growl.

"Say it again," his voice was gruff and low, barely a whisper against Stiles' ear, but enough he knew his intent would show through. Already he felt himself growing against the small of the boy's back, and as it rose he pressed it firmly against him. "Say it," he whispered again, placing another kiss against the nape of his neck, taking in a deep breath of his scent.

"I love you." He breathed out. The ripping inside him turned into an explosion and he inhaled sharply, exhaling shakily. It was one of the best feelings in the world. "Dude, are you smelling me..." He shivered again against the kisses. He meant to sound a bit more shocked but instead it came out breathy. He shifted his weight so he turned in the mans arms, pressing his erection into the mans hip slightly as he kept his arm on his pillow. He hovered over those lips, oh those _lips_. Slowly grazing back and forth over the skin, the anticipation, the anxiety built in his stomach was causing a new thread of shaking to come about. "Derek..." He moaned out, there was no resisting the wolf. Resistance was futile. "Do it, I'm ready." He accepted Derek, he accepted the wolf. He had faith the bite would hold.

Eyes glowing red and fangs bare, Derek moved his body slowly against the human's, emitting a long, rumbling growl against his skin. Stroking his hand, which still gripped the boy, he felt the thin flesh shift against his palm, felt their bodies yearning for one another. Again he purred the boy's name, letting his mouth fall agape with a moan of his own, then sighed before drawing a sharp breath.

With that breath he bore back, parting his jaw, before sinking his teeth into the tender flesh of Stiles' shoulder, clamping down tightly as he thrust himself between the boy's thighs. Growling against him, Derek moaned, parting the grip he'd taken with his mouth, and leaned back, watching the boy writhe beneath him. "It won't hurt long," he spoke softly, knowing an intentional bite healed quicker than that of a failed kill, like Scott's. They just had to wait for the outcome. It wouldn't be long now, and once he knew Stiles had turned, he wouldn't be able to contain himself much longer.

* * *

"_i'm your wild love, you're my lifeline"_

* * *

**A/N: My lord, I actually rewrote a lot of the dereky and other scenes compared to the original RP writing splayed out from us, so if it gets confusing anywhere or if I rewrote something that made no sense PLEASE do not hesitate to point it out to me, i'll rewrite it. Again, many of the full 'very well written' derek bites are by the wonderful CILLI, of sourwolflovestory on tumblr! I'd have rewritten it ALL but she did such a phenomenal job, I couldn't remaster the amazing she did. Again, all stiles bits are mine. And most of the other canon, Isaac shows up soon and he and some of the alpha pack ideas are mutually written by both CILLI and myself. **

**Please review from here. If I reach 10 reviews, I'll actually post the next chapter (which yes, has sexy bits) and I'll keep going with the posting. Otherwise, I'll leave it as is or possibly delete depending. Let me know!**


	4. Four

**SHOUT OUT TO RAE666 **my lord I love your work. **dead **Seriously everyone, if you havn't already found her work, check her out, google rae666 stiles derek and you'll find her. HIGHLY recommend Blood On The Moon. 14 chapters of amazing work! And her one shot Obsession. Deserves a sequel but I'll take what I can get haha.

Also thanks to the reviewers. Now here is the next part. Did it as soon as I could or I was afraid **snow-leopard-demon24** would find me and kill me for not continuing lol. Enjoy!

**lightsage10**: I completely agree with you, this was also done way before season three however I always believe that Stiles should remain human unless its a dire circumstance and the choice is really not there. However I do like fics where he choses to die instead, or the bite doesnt take. They are morbid and sad, but hey, it seems more realistic with stiles unfortunately. Thank you for reading so far though!

* * *

**FOUR**

"_and you're alive, i feel your heart on my skin  
i push away, but you reel me back right in... _

_and i could raise my voice until it's hoarse...  
i could leave great marks on this heart heart of yours"_

* * *

"Oh god..." Stiles cried out as saw the wolf totally Alpha out with those eyes, and the fangs, and the...fuck it was _hot_.

"So hot." He said the second part out loud because Stiles brain to mouth feature did not work with him on anything. His entire body shuddered and writhed as Derek, no, the _Alpha_, ground into his groin. The friction was almost enough to throw the teen over, but it wasn't until he felt the teeth sink into his flesh that his eyes rolled back into his head and he came. Arching off the bed as far as his body would allow with Derek clocked over him. "Nngh!" He panted as he had one of the most intense experiences of his human life.

Now as the waves of pleasure rolled away from him, he began to feel the pain. He rasped for air as he felt his body react to the bite. The cells inside of him mutating and transforming his DNA structure to give way to the wolf even though he was still hard, painfully so even after that amazing release. The tear and pull of their bond was still present. The feel was more like a needle pinch, like something was being mended or sewn together and between that stab, the emotional roller coaster of events previous, the past two years, and the now throbbing at the juncture of hit neck and shoulder, stiles felt himself sage further into the bed. Giving way to the darkness that swallowed him up in a restless slumber.

* * *

"_**What do you suppose it would be like to transform into an actual wolf, Scott?"**_

"_**I'd imagine it would be pretty awesome actually, do you think that's possible to try?"** Scott replied, looking up at 15 year old Stiles._

"_**Yeah, if you don't think on the possibility that all that bone and flesh rearranging to take shape may feel like someone is crushing you with a sledgehammer multiple times over."** Stiles replied, using his teeth to rip open the top of his jello cup, letting the foily bits drop back onto his lunch tray. _

_Scott's brows shot up with his wide eyes, apparently he _hadn't_ thought about that part right away and the image was no as welcome as whatever he'd imagined it to be. "**...gee Stiles. Thank you for the imagery." **_

_Stiles could have looked guilty, or try and offer an apology, but he really didn't feel the need enough to do so. Instead he had opted for a shrug and a sly grin as he dove into his jello._

* * *

Feeling the jet of Stiles' excitement spill between them, Derek gave but a few more thrusts before joining him, feeling his body taken by the most euphoric release. His breathing slowed as he watched the boy die in his arms, saw the pain finally break through. "It'll be alright," he whispered breathlessly to him, "just breathe."

Repeating the same mantra he had to him back in his home, he felt the boy changing, could sense it in him. It was gradual, stealing Stiles away into sleep, possibly a dream, but he was safe now, he could smell the death leaving him. Forcing himself to remain awake, he watched over the boy, laying beside him as he slept and let the wolf enter him.

He looked so peaceful, without the plague of his racing thoughts. Keeping a hand over Stiles' heart, Derek listened as they began beating in unison, watched as his body began to heal, and felt a smile verge upon his own lips as he felt their bond take hold.

He was his, the boy who ran with wolves was now a wolf himself, strong and safe, and that thought alone sated the worry that had been torturing the Alpha. They were together now, not only part of the same pack, but he could feel the serene connection between them, like a throb within his heart, a calm brought to his soul. Maybe this was all he'd needed all this time, the thing to calm and heal this savage beast.

* * *

"_**You ever think about it?**" a voice echoed in his mind._

"_**Think about what?"** the boy replied._

"_**Getting the bite?"** the voice replied, calm, smooth, collected. Stiles glanced up to see who asked. Expecting to see whoever it was next to Scott, but as he looked up Scott was gone. He was no longer in the lunch room at Beacon Hills High but instead on his bed looking at a figure with curly hair standing at his window. Gazing absently out at the woods._

"_**I've thought about, but I don't want it. I believe as long as I have the choice, I'd like to stay human. I might not be like you, Isaac...but I'd like to think I bring enough to the table without having all the super wolfy extras in the mix."** Stiles shrugged, trying to sound casual although his heart stuttered near the end. Its true, he wanted to stay human. He may be annoying and clumsy and fragile but he cherished his humanity. _

_Isaac wasn't fooled though, his super wolf senses caught the lie, but unlike the others, he didn't make a big deal out of it. "**You hold us together Stiles."** the young wolf looked at the boy on the bed, that cute puppy dog smile that no one really could resist when it was genuine, gracing the wolfs features. **"I'm glad you're with us, even if you know...we're not friends...I appreciate you." **he said shyly. _

_Stiles smiles though. "**Aw, Lahey. You big puppy, come here!" **The boy bolted off the bed after Isaac with his arms wide open trying to hug him. Isaac laughed and bolted away from him. Ending up with them running all around the house and knocking a few things over in the process._

_That was a good night. That was only about a week ago too. Maybe a little less. Stiles finds himself leaping out of the kitchen for the living room. However as he passes the threshold, ever thing suddenly becomes dark. His knee raming into something. Running his fingers down by his thigh carefully until it hits the object. It's squishy and as he pads his hands along the holy surface of it he realizes it's a couch. Derek's couch more than likely. He remembers it. Hell he helped bring it in. _

_Derek seriously needed to get another place to live. When he said he needed a place and something to sleep on other than a floor, he hadn't meant get a 12 dollar couch at a thrift shop and bring it home to the burnt shell of this place...this place was...wait how did he go from home to the hale house...come to think of it he went from school to home to here._

_A growling noise came from somewhere ahead. Stiles squinted his eyes in the dark, carefully using his hands to feel his way towards the noise. Why? Because...well...no self preservation. The behavior instinct that ensures the survival of an organism. The instinct that this organism, was _seriously _lacking._

"_**Hello?**__" yep, lacking. There was no response, but the growling continued to grow a little louder as he neared the stairs in the entry way. Peering up at the top of the stairs he saw nothing. Continuing a bit passed the stairs he noticed something glinting. That must have been the hand held mirror Derek had set by the makeshift work table. More like a few trinkets lined on a bunch of stuffed together crates and shit they'd found laying around._

"_**Derek?"**__ He called out, maybe if the wolf knew it was him he'd stop growling and talk, unless it wasn't Derek. It wasn't a full moon yet that he knew of so he should be relatively safe...right? "__**Derek this isn't funny."**_

_As stiles stepped closer to the work area, the growling suddenly stopped. The abrupt silence that filed it's place was unnerving. The mirror caught his eye again as did the LED camping lantern that sat next to it. With shaky fingers, the boy fumbled with the lamp until he found the switch and it flickered to life. He just set it back down when something in the mirror moved. Literally. Reaching out a hand, Stiles picked up the mirror, slowly tilting it towards his face. Nothing. He looked normal, he was fine. Closing his eyes, he sighed with relief. He was just losing his mind, that's all...right? That's all?_

_Growling suddenly entered the room from every where. And as he looked back at the mirror in his hand to see if there were glowing eyes behind him. His heart suddenly stopped. Looking back at him in the reflection, was a werewolf. With blazing orange eyes like fire._

* * *

Stiles didn't known how long he'd laid there asleep, but when the time had passed and the pain had drifted away allowing him consciousness, he realized the bruises didn't hurt anymore (because they faded to nothing) and his arm and shoulder no longer stung with pain. Stiles felt it though, the wolf inside of him clawing beneath the surface. He felt stronger, he could hear down into the neighborhood, hear the tinkling of the trees, and chimes, could smell the flowers out back and the chocolate bar hidden away in his desk. The smell of his recently cleaned laundry and Derek...

"... you smell good." He mumbled as he nuzzled the man's neck inhaling deeply..._whoa_..."It's a sin to smell that good Derek." He groaned, suddenly forgetting the strange sleep visions he'd had.

Smiling softly as Stiles woke and spoke fondly of his scent, Derek could not help but submit to the contentment surging through him like a calm storm. "That's why I was breathing you in. I'll know your scent forever." Brushing his hand over the boy's brow, he leaned in slowly and kissed his lips, letting it linger there longer than he had any other until now. Pulling away slightly, smile faint but still there, he whispered softly to him, "You're mine now, and I'm yours."

As much as it frightened him to say so, his fear no longer owned him, he owned it instead. Nothing scared him anymore, nothing but losing the boy, but now that fear was mere concern, the concern of his heart and what it would lose if ever Stiles died. But those thoughts were far from his mind now, all that mattered was the boy.

"How does it feel?" Never having asked any of his Betas before what it was like being made a wolf, he wondered how different it felt to have the bite transform you. His desires still not fully quelled, Derek could not contain himself, as his lips lowered to Stiles' collar bone, tracing slow kisses along it as he listened for his reply. He wanted to take him in, have all of him, mate with him and make him truly his, to be wolf with him, and feel the boy -no longer human- unleash himself on him. It had taken him so long to submit to love, wounded by the guise he'd been fooled by, that now he wanted to engulf himself in it, lose himself while they had this moment, still had the night to themselves.

Stiles pondered the question, still thrumming from the strong feel of Derek's lips, that were now ghosting over his bare chest. How does it feel? _It feels amazing, so amazing_. He wanted to say. There was no way he could concentrate on the details of new wolf hood _now_.

"I feel stronger, in every way, and the urge to have you screw my brains out is definitely stronger than ever. I-it's kind of taking over any possible freak out one may have while newly experiencing, hearing and seeing everything. All I want is your face in my face and touching lots of touching." He proceeded in reaching out and running his hands into Derek's hair. Before he knew what was happening he was on top of the Alpha, straddling him, nipping at his skin, his nipples, and passionately ravaging his mouth, a Wolfy growl rumbled low in his throat as he pulled back mere inches, eyes glowing. "Mine".

Glad to hear Stiles could feel his strength increase, Derek growled at the fest of his confession, his body instantly reacting to the words. Though not graceful a proposal, the wolf couldn't care less. Stiles made up for it with the grace and power he exerted upon the Alpha, pinning him on his back, growling at the the way the boy touched him.

Derek groaned and growled at the way his flesh felt at the grips of the new wolf's mouth, writhing as he was bitten and kissed. His hands lay firmly on Stiles' hips, looking into his yellow eyes with his own red ones, smirking. "Yours," he replied with a deep rumble from his throat, and lifted his head swiftly to maul his lips in return.

Kissing him hard and deep, the passion making his every ministration sharp and almost violent, he aggressively took his lover, his mate, and felt himself verging between his cheeks. Finally letting his head fall, pitching it back with a stifled growl, he felt the sensations teasing him, driving him to the brink of insanity. He wanted him, wanted to be inside him, wanted to make him his mate.

Begging him with each groan as he clenched his eyes shut against the tension, he breathed softly, his voice graveled and restrained in a moan, he begged. "I need to feel you!" Aware it would likely hurt the boy at first, he knew at least he would heal nearly right away, it wouldn't hurt for long. He needed it though, felt it through every fiber of his being, knew their bond would not permit him to rest until he'd been inside Stiles and truly made him his mate.

The wolf inside him was demanding a release, to give in to his Alpha. Stiles had to admit this was not the direct approach he was aiming towards for his first time. He fumbled around aimlessly trying to focus, the noises emanating from the Alpha were distracting him. "_I need to feel you."_ He moans, begs, _begs_.

Need. Yes he knew the word, felt the word, was becoming the word. Stiles needed Derek. Needed him to breathe, Needed him to get through the nightmares, through the school year, through letting the pack know he was, now one of them fully. Stiles needed to see Derek smile, to hear him laugh. To spend raining nights together, and cuddle, to run around during hot days chasing each other with water guns or balloon. Because this was _stiles_. This was who he was. A kid at heart forever trying to protect the ones he loves and making faces while doing it.

They live in their own personal hell, but in themselves, they have their heaven, and what do you do when you find yourself running through hell?

_You just keep running.._

Stiles placed his hands on Derek's toned stomach, feeling the mans erection stiffly sliding against his ass he got up off the bed, off of Derek. Eyes glowing as he gazed at the man intensely. Oh he wanted him, in every way shape and form. Oh yes, in _ever_y way.

_Why are you even thinking about that!_ He felt his cheeks burn, tinted red as his mind flashed with him and Derek, Derek wolfing out during intercourse. _Oh god oh god oh god._ His eyes returned to normal as he put his hands over his face and moved to turn the light switch off across the room and walked back over.

_Yep, still me_. He inhaled trying to calm himself when Derek's scent hit him hard. "Nngh." His eyes closed, head tilting back slightly, letting out a groan as another wave of arousal hit him. "Fuck, Derek, if you smell like this _all_ the time you are going to have to stop creeping during lacrosse practice, I will _never_ be able to control myself properly."

His face lowered, and his eyes drifted open, grazing up and over the wolf. "Take me, now. I can't take this waiting, just get done with it, soft and slow later, hard and fast now!" He lunged at the Alpha.

Growling wildly as the teenager left him so abruptly, it took nearly everything in him not to pounce upon him. He wanted to ravage the boy, to mount him and tear him in half with his passions, but managed to keep himself steady, though his control was slipping. Watching as Stiles turned out the light, Derek growled once more at the boy's words, wrapping his arms around him with a kiss buried in his neck as he lunged at him.

Rolling them over, caught in the sheets and tangled in the covers, he pressed his body into the boy's, feeling his girth ache with wanton desire. "Try not to howl," he commanded, getting Stiles pinned under him, pressed face down into the bed. Leaning over his now shapely and toned body, wanting that to wait for the perfect moment. He wanted to hear him howl, to cry out for the first time as a wolf, but he wanted it the second the boy reached his...

Standing on his knees, Derek climbed Stiles' back, hands pressing against his flesh, as he looked down at his virgin hole. Lowering a kiss onto the small of the boy's back, he let a line of spit slip from his lips between his cheeks, and pressed his thumb into him. Not slow, not soft, but he wouldn't tear into him without some tender forethought.

Stealing his hand away from the quivering boy, he spat into his palm and pushed himself through his own grip, guiding the engorged organ into the tight orifice. A low rumble began growing in his chest, creeping up his throat, as he emitted his most powerful, wall-shaking growl. Stiles was so tight, so perfectly formed to his body, so firm and young. Collapsing over his back, draped there with his first full thrust, Derek wrapped his arms around Stiles, going slowly not for sake of pain, but for sake of friction.

Gradually, he felt the boy loosen, felt enough give to lift himself up again, as his back bowed and lips traced kisses along Stiles' skin as far as he could until he was kneeling once more. Hands gripped in the hooks of the boy's hips, he gave a few more steady pumps before feeling his wolf break free.

Claws dug into the boy's tender flesh, digging into his back as he drove into him, deep and hard. He was marking him, taking him as his own mate, for no other to have. Their hearts and souls bonded, their bodies now locked together; it was a pleasure the wolf had never known before. He belonged to the boy beneath him, was his now, forever.

Bowing once more over the boy, he whispered his lips against his ear, pressing them to his cheek, and growled softly to him. "Is this what you wanted? To feel me iiiiin-side you?" He grunted hard with a thrust as he spoke, feeling his eyes clench and body shudder against Stiles'.

Pushing himself from Stiles, Derek rolled the teenager over onto his back and lifted him from the bed, sitting him on his lap as he crossed his own legs under him. "Take me," he demanded, clasping hold of the boy's swollen member and began stroking it in his firm grip. He wanted to watch him writhe, wanted to see the pleasure on his face, to feel him explode between them again, and wanted to face him so that Stiles could imbibe his juices when he finally released from the pleasure.

His wolf had escaped, already transforming his features and burning his eyes a deep scarlet glow as he watched Stiles, waiting to feel him around him once more.

The whole situation happened so fast Stiles could have sworn he was in a dream. As soon as he lunged at Derek, the Alpha took charge, kissing, sucking ,biting flesh, if he was still human he would have been covered in hickies and bite marks and just as happy.

He felt his face hit the pillow and turned it so he could breathe, feeling Derek behind him was...was /train of thought...lost...is that spit? Oh my GOD! finger...thumb..something.../ his eyes shut and his hands clutched the sheets. The intrusion felt weird but he quickly got over it as time passed and the fingers were replaced by a shove of Dereks hard member pressing into the tightness. Stiles arched a bit, quickly readjusting as Derek bent over him.

When the Alpha had managed to push into him fully the boy shuddered. The pain was there yes but the tears that came were of joy. Because he had been feeling Dereks pleasure too and emotion and his own and it was bursting into raw sexual heaven. As the Alpha began to pound into him, Stiles claws began to form on their own accord, shredding the sheets he was so desperately clinging on to.

As Derek leaned over and breathed into his ear, that animal undertone to his words Stiles moaned loudly. Derek thrusting into him half way through his words. He felt the man shuddering against him and it caused him to as well, an action of its own.

When Derek pushed himself off of Stiles, the boy took in much needed breaths of air, groaning at the lose of the warmth. But then he was rolled over and pull up and onto Dereks lap, and everything began spinning. His eye focus was on Dereks hot mouth, and how it moved when he demanded the boy to take him. Stiles let out a small whimpered breath as his mate's canines showed. He firmly gripped Dereks hand to stop him from stroking, knowing he would not last 5 more seconds if the man kept at it.

The red eyes of the Alpha gleamed brilliantly in the darkness of the room. And Stiles realized he could see everything so clearly. As if the lights had been left on, as if as a human he was seeing everything through a dirty window, and now, it's like Derek cleaned the glass and allowed him to see. Stiles heart skipped and his lips parted on a sigh. The emotion he was feeling right then was enough to make the boy's chest feel heavy.

Eyes misty, the young wolf brought his hand up slowly to allow his finger tips to graze the Alpha's lips, leaving a trail of touch up the side of the mans face, then ghosting over his brow. His own eyes followed his fingers before they locked with the Red glowing eyes of the Alpha wolf. Slowly, without breaking eye contact, Stiles circled an arm around the mans shoulders, his free hand resting against the right shoulder, and lifted himself, hovering over Derek enough to feel the tip graze his entrance. Inhaling the Alpha's scent, the boy finally broke eye contact, eyes rolling back into his head and pressed himself down onto the throbbing member beneath him. His head tilted back in a choked out cry of pleasure.

He did not know how long they were connected like that, without moving, but the boy was sure it was not very long at all. For the patience to be still was shattered and Stiles began lifting himself up and pressing himself down, repeating the action. His head managed to roll back forward and when he opened his eyes, his lips parted, canines extended and eyes glowing. No weird hair growing anywhere thankfully.

A long, drawn out rumble continued as Stiles stopped Derek from pleasuring him, watching his eyes instead, as he moved and prepared himself. The beast still raged throughout him, but a more tender spirit filled him as he let the boy take charge. His lips quivered as he felt his head venture into Stiles once more, seeing the boy pitch back, and felt his wolf rage once more.

More growls mingled with moans escaped the Alpha as he let his hips buck into the boy slightly, arms wrapped around him tight and claws digging into his flesh once again. There was so much more passion to be had as wolves, not like it had to be with a human, and for that, Derek was thankful. But his heart ached for something soft, something gentle. He would placate the boy this time, satisfying his teenage urges, but was determined to make love to him the next chance they had to mate.

As he saw Stiles losing control, the wolf appearing in his eyes and fangs, Derek felt himself losing control again. His hips rose and fell, swaying in perfect time with his lover, until the image drove him mad, and he grew stiff. Muscles tightening throughout his entire body, the Alpha let out a slowly building howl, erupting inside the younger wolf.

His arms shook and brow beaded with sweat, his eyes still burning at the boy, as his face returned to normal. Still writhing with Stiles upon his lap, Derek shifted slightly to give him more pleasure, to find the perfect spot he needed to reach his own climax. "Let me hear you."

Claws, teeth, _and_ howling, this was a mix of sexual chaos. The boy felt himself teetering the edge, swaying his hips with Dereks until the wolf tightened up and let out howl that sent shivers down the boys spine. When Derek shifted a bit he ht a spot inside Stiles that caused him to breathe heavily and mewl.

"Oh god..." He moaned again and again until Derek told him to howl, Stiles was about to open his mouth to tell the wolf that was not going to happen, when his insides exploded and his seed shot out over their stomachs, back arching and as he cried out, it was drowned out by his wolf howling in pure ecstasy. When he came off of his high he realized what he had just done and his face lit up like Christmas lights, his eyes fading back to his golden honey brown, and his face falling against Derek's shoulder.

"Holy _shit_..." He panted. "We need a shower..."

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**AN: Okay so I did nothing to change the derek parts during sexy bits. Cause quite honestly, I cannot change that awesome that we created with stiles and derek. Let me know what you think. I'm going to make one more chapter to this, and then the rest of it might be a part two. Who knows., all the dream scenes I added were separate from the original. I added those in tonight. Thoughts?**


	5. Five

**AN:** Hey everyone! Thank you so much for the favs, follows and reviews. There are a few who have mentioned needing a beta. Well sad to say I AM a beta, I beta read and correct for others, if anyone needs one. This whole story here i'm sharing (the chapters before this) are shifting every few segments of paragraphs from Stiles to Derek, that is why the TENSE changes. I thought I explained that when I said it was from a joint write. Which is when two writers pick a main character to play and write. This There are many areas I tried to rewrite Derek so it wasn't a complete copy over, as well as Stiles, but lets face it, even with the tense change it was pretty damn awesome wasn't it? I had to share this amazingness. Now, the rest this is written by myself. I will not be continuing to copy over all the rest cause that is like, 20 more pages of unfinished crazy. So I'll re write it from here. It takes longer.

HOWEVER criticism is welcome as well, I wouldn't be a writer if I couldn't handle criticism and love. **Thank you again!**

**-Scotlan**

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**FIVE**

IIII

III

II

I

It was an empty feeling, Derek pulling out. It left a very strange mark on the boy. He didn't like it. It was as if his connection to life, connecting intimately, tangled with Derek. And yet, when they finally parted, becoming two separate bodies once again, Stiles felt disorientated.

What was even more agitating, was now that sexual events had diminished for the time being. The new wolf's senses were kicked into over drive.

He could hear a cat next door, purring softly by the trashcan on this side of the house. The same cat he fed treats too some nights when it would show up. The light beeping of the neglected answering machine down stairs. The slight dripping of the tub spigot, drips hitting the leftover water from his bath not hours before.

His gaze shot to the tub as it make a strangle gargled popping sound while it drained. The noise was so loud...Stiles jaw clenched.

_I knew this would happen...I know what this will be like, I just got to breathe. _his breathing labored, hands shook, eyes shutting. Instinctively he reached for the spare inhaler in the bathroom drawer under the sink. Uncapping it, drawing it up to his mouth, and stopped. The smell was strong.

"Oh god." Stiles made a face and recapped the damn thing, tossing it carelessly back into the drawer and shutting it with accidental force, cracking the old wood. _Great._ The inhaler smelled as if he had just waltzed into small room filled with formaldehyde.

Stiles rubbed his palms over his face, as if it would help stop the chaos ensuing. He was now picking up the sound of laughing and a car door closing from down the street, and he had had enough. Stiles, naked as the day he was born, traipsed down his stairs and down to the kitchen where he had left Scott's docking station and the iPod he'd gotten as a gift, then headed back upstairs to the bathroom where he shut the door and plugged the blasted thing in, hitting power. It booted on and began playing the last song Stiles had been listening too, which was Howl by Florence & the machine and he felt his face flushed and his hand reached out to change the song, his cheek getting redder by the second.

The playlist was called **sourwolf**, he hadn't known why he'd made the playlist but it was there. Playing the songs he'd set .

_If you could only see the beast you've made of me  
I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free  
Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart  
drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart_

The boy fumbled with it, trying to turn it down and hold his hears at the same time, only to have Derek-who was running the shower and checking the temperature- to wince, growl and reach out to smack the thing off the stand into the sink with a clatter, receiving a not so thrilled looking Alpha glare.

Stiles looked back to Derek with a sheepish smile. "Didn't mean to blast it, honest. I just...needed to block the sounds out..." Stiles closed his eyes, not knowing what emotion was his right now. He was feeling so much at once, and he found inhaling Derek was the answer to the temporary chaos.

He allowed Derek to help him into the warm shower, and the boy just snuggled into the Alpha, closing his eyes as he focused on the mans beating heart.

"I just want you to know, I don't expect you to say it, but I just wanted to let you know, in case you know...you don't believe it yet...because I sure still feel like I'm dreaming. Very..vividly." He rambled on before swallowing some air and nuzzling Derek's neck. " Love you Derek." He sighed against the skin. Meaning the words in every way. "And thank you for believing that I have what it takes ...for sharing your gift."

This threw Derek off, for even though he called it a gift when he'd tried convincing Scott last year, he had not expected Stiles to consider it one. He was honestly nervous if Stiles would freak now and say Derek cursed him with all of this. Dumb thinking on his part obviously, seeing as this was Stiles, not Scott, and Stiles was amazing. Derek reached around the young wolf, grabbing the soap while trailing kisses over the boys shoulder tenderly. "The choice has always been here, waiting for you Stiles...I never wanted to take that away from you and I love you, I do." He said as he lathered soap all over Stiles body. But there was so much more there, hidden behind those eyes as he continued to bath them, and rinse them off.

Stepping from the shower they both silently dried off, and Stiles followed Derek back into his bedroom. He immediately situated himself on the bed, not caring if he was nude or not, and waited for Derek to climb back in before curling into him.

The words.

Those words were replaying in his head.

_I love you, I do. _and Stiles swore he felt a hidden under tone was there. The fear was undeniable. Stiles could only imagine how hard it is to be mated after it seemed not so long ago the girl the wolf _thought_ he loved practically burned everything he'd loved; and then Laura. His sister.

Stiles wondered if Derek ever saw her, in his dreams, in his dark moments, at all. Sometimes Stiles would feel a chill when he would feel an attack coming on, or when he wanted to break down, and he just, felt her. His mom. Nearly imagining her soothing words, reassuring him he would get through this, coaching him to breathe, telling him she loved him, was proud of him. Stiles welcomed the feeling every time.

He wondered if Derek had those moments.

Stiles gave Derek silence for once in his life. Did not say a word, just lay there in the Alpha's arms as his husky voice filled his ears again,. "I want to be the one leading you, I need to have that."Stiles shook his head. Which was a bit awkward when there was a chin resting on the top, and a chest against your face. "Letting go like this..."

"I don't want you to let go Derek, I don't expect you to change everything you are and just become the student counselor. " Stiles sighed. "I don't want you to shut me out either though, I just want honesty, if something happens, I don't want the excuse of my safety to blind you from seeing I am useful. I did not take the bite for nothing. I took it because you were right, I am selfish. " He sat up a bit, trying to angle back enough to look at the Alpha.

"I was selfish to believe I could be just as useful as superhero in a band of werewolves fighting the big bad's of the world." His brows knitted together as he paused to ease his emotional turmoil boiling over. This was going to be bit harder than before. Trying to not let his emotions rule him now that they were multiplied.

"I knew my humanity would end up catching up sooner or later. This nightmare I've been having...It's not the first...but it's been enough to make me crazy. I wake up every time, wondering if it truly was real. I mean there is so much blood, and limbs, and everyone's...gone...the pack is all, torn and broken, pulled apart and trailed carelessly towards the treeline and then I see the broken wolfs broken home...and I realized your body was no where in the cluster fucked mess. But when I try to call out to you, when I try to find you, you're no where..." He choked out.

"You're just..gone." His eyes closed and he rubbed his hand over his face. Inhaling Derek's scent again and felt himself immediately calm. The scent of spice and pine-needles and rain kissed leaves and...leather, made the boy smile.

"Honestly though, I think the biggest reason I didn't accept the bite was because deep down, I didn't know if I would be good enough. That the bite wouldn't choose me, that maybe I'd just die instead. But you know...I knew laying under you back there...on the bed." He looked at the wolf again smiling softly. "I knew as long as you were there, It would be okay. Whether or not the bite took to me, I was just glad you came back..."

He yawned slightly as he realized suddenly, tomorrow was the first day of school. "Will you be there?" He asked, "When I'm in school, will you be there...?...I'd drop the team if I thought couch would ever bench me again, but I'm sure I'll be safe. I just...was wondering you'd would still stalk the me on the grounds." He winked, kidding of course, he knew Derek was not there to watch him but keep an eye on Issac and Scott and them.

"I understand if you need to get more important things done, I want you do to what you need to do. Just make sure your phones on, in case...I completely lose it or something." He was trying to joke this time too, but his voice shook a little a the thought of possibly losing it. God he really chose the shittiest day to bond with the Alpha, when school was around the corner. But he didn't regret a thing. And neither did Derek, who listened to him and found himself smiling.

"We're going to be just fine Stiles, and I will be be there tomorrow, Stalking you as you so kindly put it." Receiving a roll of Stiles eyes and a chuckle. "For now, shut up and sleep."

And he did.

The next morning, Stiles did not want to get up, did not want to leave the bed nor have Derek leave either. _Mine_ his wolf growled as Derek kissed him good morning before hiding as his Dad came in to get him up. Knocking on the wall John's voice filled the room. "First day of School Stiles..." He paused, with that 'oh boy' look. "I'm sure you'll need to make sure Scott gets ready too, his mom has the night shift again, she left a message, I see you didn't check it. Up!" The man said before shutting the door behind him and traipsing back down to the kitchen.

Derek came back to him, telling him to get ready for school and to look for him there, or something along the lines, Stiles was still loopy. The boy smiled stupidly. Getting up when the wolf disappeared out his window _what is up with my window.._. he rolled his eyes, before pulling on some clean clothes and grabbing his back pack. Realizing Lydia had already stuffed it with new school supplies.

_If someone told me Lydia Martin would go from the girl I thought I loved, to practically my mother in a young woman's body, I'd have never believed it. _He shook his head yet again and took off down the stairs, waving to his dad before grabbing his keys. He had to run back in after starting up, running back up to grab his phone and the iPod for the hell of it and the headphones before running back down, managing not to trip over himself when he reached the front door and slammed it closed, hopping in the jeep and driving over to Scott's.

When he got there he realized Scott was all ready to go, and climbed into the Jeep. For a moment, everything seemed normal, until Scott began sniffing at the air, and scrunched his face up as he looked at Stiles.

"Were you with Derek?" He asked. Stiles opened his mouth in that 'uh...' sort of way and did that a few times before finally nodding.

"Yeah, we, talked...last night. Why do I stink?" Stiles pulled his collar up to sniff it, grabbing the strong scent of tide. Wow, that was strong. The boy made a face before moving to itch his nose.

"Uh, no, just curious...you weren't...with any other wolves though...?" He asked slowly, it was as if Scott realized Stiles no longer smelled like...stiles, and it wasn't jut the off scent of Derek, he usually could tell stiles apart from Derek and the others, even when they were on him. "Wait...since when does Derek _talk_?" Scott laughed.

And the awkward moment vanished, for now. The drive to school was filled with them chatting about what this school year would be like and everything was good again. No talk about the Alphas, no talk about the crazy shit from last year. Just...the now. And it was good, even the first half of the day way good.

Until chemistry came up on him and bit him in the ass. Scott and him got in late, and that caused them to be assigned different seats. Scott got Issac the lucky bastard, while Stiles dragged himself over next to Jackson, Lydia sat in front of them with Barbee Shelton (no joke).

It wasn't bad that he got Jackson for they were better since he joined the pack. But it was how Jackson was staring at him during class. It made the boy uneasy, and he shifted in his seat. It wasn't until he was trying to work the lab that he finally threw his hands in the air and hissed. "What! Do I have something stuck to my face or something?"

Jackson's brow knitted together, his jaw clenching and unclenching as he stared so intensely it made Stile's own anger rise. "What?" He snapped again.

"You smell different." Jackson stated quietly. But Stiles knew Scott or Issac would be able to hear it if they were paying attention. Stiles was able to hear everything else all day but he would remember what Derek said and he would relax, think of his mate, just the sound of the mans heart beat, the scent...as if he was right there. And would calm down, momentarily blocking out the world if only for a sane second.

"Derek and I talked last night. Scott said he smelled him on me this morning too." Stiles stated, hoping it was enough to sway the boy from continuing, but of course, Jackson didn't.

"No." The boy narrowed his eyes at Stiles. "Your scent is all wrong, it's as if you aren't the same person."

And that is how it went for the rest of the day until practice, Scott and Jackson and Issac stared at him all...day..long. Until He finally snapped at Scott and Issac at Practice on the bench, while Jackson was on the field with the coach yelling shit out.

"Dude, stop fucking staring at me! As far as I am aware I do not have two heads, so please knock it off!" He threw his arms out, shaking his lacrosse stick at his best friends.

"Stiles..." Scott opened his mouth but Issac shook his head at Scott. But then Lydia ruined it by looking at them.

"They are just worried Stiles...Did they see the bruises too?" She smiled sadly, but the boys now looked confused.

"What bruises? Aha, you're funny Lydia..so..funny." Stiles laughed awkwardly, as Scott's look intensified and now he looked angry, accusations lacing his features. He knew Stiles was lying, and in turn hiding something important from him.

"You had no bruises in the locker room.."Issac frowned. Looking between Stiles and Lydia. "And...well, Jackson was mentioning something we've been wondering all day...You do, smell different. It's, weird. You smell like Derek and...something more. I mean, we've smelled Derek on you and us on you before...this is different."

Stiles was feeling that pent up emotion begin trying to push out of him. His chest rising and falling with a heavy thickness. His body shaking, and Lydia backing away. She knew what that was. The way he was trembling was no anxiety attack. She'd witnessed it more than enough times with Jackson in the previous weeks to understand it was a sign of a tempered new werewolf. Her eyes widened and she realized where they were. She looked around and then locked eyes with Issac who then realized what was happening. His eyes changed from confused to determined.

_"Stiles...did you get ...bitten?"_ Isaac whispered. Hardly noticing that practice was over and everyone was leaving the field to the locker rooms aside from Jackson who was now standing, quite literally, behind them. Stiles was backing away. Shaking his head as he much as he was shaking his body. "Stiles!"

But the boy was walking away, trying to desperately remain calm. He ran until he got to the locker rooms, where he quickly changed and grabbed his things, before anyone could stop him and heading back out towards the field where he realized he left his phone.

Oh the way there he noticed the girl and the three wolves were still sitting there, or standing in Jackson's case. Staring in his direction. Stiles hesitated, thinking about forgetting his phone but knew he would need it so he sucked it up and strode over, grabbing his phone from Laheys hand and stalking off.

It was Scott who stepped in front of him though , before he could really leave. "Dude just tell me what is going on, is it true?! Are you..one of us now?"

"Like I wasn't before?" Stiles snapped back. Scott looked guilty for a moment, realizing what he;d said.

"That's not what I meant Stiles, you know that."

"Yes, Yes I'm a goddamn furry now okay? Like.." he made a weird impression of them in wolf form ,fingers for teeth, then clawing the air with a weird gesture. Which caused everyone to give him a weird look.

"Wait, so...did...Derek..." Scott said slowly, trying to piece things together.

"Yeah, okay? I chose this..so don;t go blaming him. He's..always given me the choice." Stiles said softly, looking anywhere but at Scott.

"So what now?" Scott tried to laugh. "Two omega's running around the town like batman and robin?" He smacked Stiles lightly on the shoulder.

"He's not omega." Jackson growled out. He realized why now, he had that weird feeling about Stiles. He felt it, beta to beta, Stiles was pack, he'd names Derek his alpha. "He's Beta. He's chosen his Alpha."

Scott looked back at Stiles and Stiles felt like he could crawl under a rock and die. "Wait...who..." Then it clicked, poor Scott was always the last one to click. "Derek! You chose Derek as your alpha..."

"Derek isn't a bad Alpha Scott!" Stiles yelled. "Seriously man, why can't you trust him, he has done nothing but try to help us, it may be in his own way, but he has given no REALY reason for us no to trust him, and I do Scott, I fucking trust that man more than I trust the guy who kissed the girl I /had/ 'loved'" He used his fingers as quotes in the air.

"I'm sorry Scott, I kept giving, and giving for this pack, for you, and I was getting tired...I was tired of waking up every morning wondering if I was going to get a call. Wondering if I'd have to say goodbye to one of you. Watching you guys run into a fight and me sitting helplessly on he side lines, when I know I would get into trouble anyway because I have that superhero problem, when I'm no super hero." He took a breath, shakig his head.

"You're still mad about Lydia?"

"Oh my _god_" Stiles threw his hands in the air. "Is that all you got out of that?"

He shook his head and backed up. "Fuck Scott, how can...how can I do this when you can't even just be there for me. I went through this shit with you man, I was THERE when you needed me, all the time. Now It's happened to me, and you can't pull your head out of your ass for five minutes to think about something other than your damn pride? Yes I fucking chose Derek. And you aren't omega, Scott, you're just not an Alpha either, you're a beta. you accepted Derek too, whether you realize it or not, because I can feel you apart of this pack."

Issac put a hand on the boys shoulder and smiled. "Stiles is right Scott, we've come so far this summer. And you helped me...helped Jackson, and so did Derek...and Stiles...I don't think we would be alive with out him. He's always been pack...just now, he's even MORE pack."

Stiles smiled lightly at the other wolf and nodded his thanks. But what he really wanted was this day to be over and to stop feeling like he was going to cry. Scream. Rage. He just wanted Derek...where was he. He yearned for him, especially now that Jackson and Scott were arguing about how Stiles shouldn't have been so careless to choose this before school or come to school, what if he hurt someone, blahblahblah. control, blahblahblah, his dad...the alphas. the only thing keeping him steady was Isaac's reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Stiles had his eyes closed, trying to will the tension away, when he heard a howl and all of a sudden Isaac and Jackson fell in line next to Scott, kind of cowering a little. Even Scott. But Stiles however felt the overwhelming feeling of relief as he turned to see his mate. "Oh thank god." He breathed out as he he stepped toward Derek and immediately leaned his forehead against the mans shoulder, inhaling him. Derek nuzzled his neck a few times before his red eyes narrowed at the teens before him.

The others, had a look of pure '**what the fuck...just happened.**' expressions on their faces, everyone that is, except for Lydia, who had her arm crossed over her ribs and her free hand resting over her lips as she grinned. On the verge of...tears? What was up with this girl lately. Seriously though, if anyone would be pack mom it was going to end up being Lydia fucking Martin, not him.

Isaac looked to Lydia, then back at the alpha and Stiles and smiled slightly. In a kind of understanding. Although it seemed as if Jackson and Scott were clearly lost, or maybe constipated.

"Stiles...You can't be serious!" Scott opened his mouth but Stiles let out a inhuman growl and snapped his head away from Derek's firm chest to look directly at his best friend. A Warning sound that reverberated around them and sent Isaac and Jackson to the ground, or close to it, Jackson hung his head, and Isaac practically hid behind Lydia. Scott however had stepped back with wide eyes. Clearly surprised and a little...petrified?

"Not another word right now, got it? I've had it up to here Scott, I've had it up to here!" He throw his hands in the air for emphasis. "I' m going home." He shakily rubbed a hand over his face. "I don't want to hear, from any of you, until tomorrow...maybe. If I'm not still wanting to rip your fucking face off." He said as he stalked off the field to grab his jeep and go home.

Derek stayed in place however, eying the little pack he had left and gave a dismissed nod, following now after Stiles and catching up easily. It was hard for the boy to handle, the chaos raining on him like a freaking hale storm. Speaking of Hale, the man stepped in front of his jeep as he sat there, clutching his steering wheel not hard just clutching it. When the man got into the cab he let his hands drop to his lap, feeling Derek take his hand. "Lydia can explain it to them, I'm sure."

Stiles sighed and immediately felt the calm rush over him again. "I hope so, If I had to explain it to them I believe in what I said five minutes ago, I'll rip some faces off."

Derek squeezed his hand. "Just remember I'm here for you, and Isaac and Lydia are too, pack is family, they will come around."

"I know you are, and I am too Derek, remember that." He said as he looked to the alpha. "Let's go home, I have the rest of my homework to finish and I could use good food and a hug." He smiled, before letting so of Derek's hand to start up and head home.

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**I've your Wild Love, you're my life line**

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**A/N: SO HOW WAS IT? **Give me feedback, weeee shall I continue or leave it as is, this is supposed to be the last chapter, but I'm willing to write a sequel. Also check out Cover me In Grey! Magic/NY AU up here and on A03!


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